[ Oh. Lucretia is such a good. He loves her. Like, Finn probably doesn't think that literally, as a person who still hasn't managed to tell another sentient anything he loves them, but he does think something along the lines of "she's such a good person and I'm glad she's alive and I hope she's okay."
He's a day or two into the post- Kylo Ren rooting around in his head and only not murdering him because of the intervention of chance economy, so it takes a couple of hours to get back to her just because he was in the middle of a very unplanned nap. He is also thirsty for decent human interaction outside of Rey and Poe, so in the grand scheme, this has timed out super well. ]
[ He gives up on sleeping after about two hours. It's an uneventful couple of hours, obviously. Not a silent stretch of time by any means: from the sounds of distant wildlife outside to the sound of other people breathing around him. A little crowded. But uneventful.
For Finn, who grew up packed into barracks and training areas and mess halls with at least a dozen other trainees at any given time, the close proximity and constant low noise is a source of second-nature comfort. Easier to live in, sleep around, breathe through.
Sometimes it's not that easy. Maybe not lately, especially, on and off in the past few weeks. Sometimes he's all sharp, shifting edges, senses tuned in looking for things that aren't there to find. It reminds him of those first few weeks in Riverview, the days when he would step outside fully expecting a First Order fleet to turn up by day's end. The kind of jittery wariness that made sleep impossible and enjoying anything equally impossible. He'd like to pretend he's surprised that he circled back around to that restless energy. But he's not. He's pretty sure he always will eventually. Hadriel doesn't have the means for the kind of routine he's always been used to. The work so hard he doesn't think routine. It was a matter of time, probably.
And when the edges start shifting a little too sharply, when all the wrong trains of thought start picking up steam despite his best efforts, that's when Finn goes from "resigned to a night of sitting very still pretending to rest" to outright giving up.
He doesn't really bother trying to be stealthy about it. As nice as the idea of not disturbing anyone is, Finn knows better than to believe in it. This is an apartment full of fighters. Anytime anybody gets up, everyone knows about it. Everyone's got a ghost or two. It brings-- sort of a mutual understanding all around.
They all fell into step there. And it's not a bad thing to have the understanding. It's just claustrophobic, suddenly. Being in the apartment.
So he ditches the bed nest as carefully as he can. Pulls his boots on, makes sure he has his phone in case something happens while he's out. And true to fashion for any Star Wars character, he goes right ahead and follows his impulse out the door. Yeet.
It's not like it's any more or less safe to be outside just because of the time of day. He might as well try to walk some of this off. ]
[It took Rey some time to get used to sleeping around people, and even now she wouldn't be able to say it's second nature. She'd only been able to manage at first because it was Finn right beside her, not some random Resistance member or a faceless person from Jakku. Her nights were spent alone, always alone, and while it's what she's used to that very first night she lays down in that nest with Poe and Finn she knows she won't want to pass it up again.
It feels childish, but what can she compare it to, really? More than anything it feels safe and warm and, a small and hopeful voice whispers, feels like home.
That feeling only grows as they spend more time together, the three of them and then all four when John joins them. She expected that to be more awkward than it was, but then again there's usually a Poe or a Finn or both between her and this new, unknown presence. His addition doesn't make her wary, like she'd expect, but it's true about none of them sleeping through the shift of someone getting up.
Usually she ignores it. She has her moments, after all, when everything is just too much and she needs to go. The others understand her better than she could have ever expected and no one pushes, demands her time or that she try harder to mesh with the group.
Finn, though. When he gets up and leaves, Rey knows that isn't normal operating procedure for him. He's as hungry for home and family as she is, but he wears it on his sleeve so much more than she does and so of course she sits up after he's been gone too long. Of course she reaches for her boots. Poe and John probably know exactly where she's going, but neither of them speak up and she doesn't look back as she leaves the nest, leaves the house.
She doesn't need the Force to find him, and as she approaches she makes sure her footsteps are loud enough he'll hear her coming, makes sure he won't be startled when she puts her hand so, so carefully at the center of his back.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
march 22
I'm so sorry. Are you all right?
I understand if you don't want to answer; you have no obligation to. But I couldn't just let this pass without apologizing.
I hope you were able to stay safe after you escaped from, well, from me.
Lucretia
no subject
He's a day or two into the post- Kylo Ren rooting around in his head and only not murdering him because of the intervention of chance economy, so it takes a couple of hours to get back to her just because he was in the middle of a very unplanned nap. He is also thirsty for decent human interaction outside of Rey and Poe, so in the grand scheme, this has timed out super well. ]
Ran into a few other problems, but I lived.
Are you okay? As much as you can be, I mean.
[ After a long few seconds, he tacks on: ]
I didn't think it was your fault.
no subject
[ She just tortured and killed her best friend, hunted down Taako and nearly killed him too, it's fine, shit happens. ]
Thank you, Finn. I know it was Rage, I understand that these things just happen here. But I still did those things. I remember doing them.
I'm sorry.
no subject
So don't feel like you need to avoid me or anything.
no subject
[ He's just too good. Protect Finn 2k19 please. ]
All right. I promise I won't.
it for rey
For Finn, who grew up packed into barracks and training areas and mess halls with at least a dozen other trainees at any given time, the close proximity and constant low noise is a source of second-nature comfort. Easier to live in, sleep around, breathe through.
Sometimes it's not that easy. Maybe not lately, especially, on and off in the past few weeks. Sometimes he's all sharp, shifting edges, senses tuned in looking for things that aren't there to find. It reminds him of those first few weeks in Riverview, the days when he would step outside fully expecting a First Order fleet to turn up by day's end. The kind of jittery wariness that made sleep impossible and enjoying anything equally impossible. He'd like to pretend he's surprised that he circled back around to that restless energy. But he's not. He's pretty sure he always will eventually. Hadriel doesn't have the means for the kind of routine he's always been used to. The work so hard he doesn't think routine. It was a matter of time, probably.
And when the edges start shifting a little too sharply, when all the wrong trains of thought start picking up steam despite his best efforts, that's when Finn goes from "resigned to a night of sitting very still pretending to rest" to outright giving up.
He doesn't really bother trying to be stealthy about it. As nice as the idea of not disturbing anyone is, Finn knows better than to believe in it. This is an apartment full of fighters. Anytime anybody gets up, everyone knows about it. Everyone's got a ghost or two. It brings-- sort of a mutual understanding all around.
They all fell into step there. And it's not a bad thing to have the understanding. It's just claustrophobic, suddenly. Being in the apartment.
So he ditches the bed nest as carefully as he can. Pulls his boots on, makes sure he has his phone in case something happens while he's out. And true to fashion for any Star Wars character, he goes right ahead and follows his impulse out the door. Yeet.
It's not like it's any more or less safe to be outside just because of the time of day. He might as well try to walk some of this off. ]
no subject
It feels childish, but what can she compare it to, really? More than anything it feels safe and warm and, a small and hopeful voice whispers, feels like home.
That feeling only grows as they spend more time together, the three of them and then all four when John joins them. She expected that to be more awkward than it was, but then again there's usually a Poe or a Finn or both between her and this new, unknown presence. His addition doesn't make her wary, like she'd expect, but it's true about none of them sleeping through the shift of someone getting up.
Usually she ignores it. She has her moments, after all, when everything is just too much and she needs to go. The others understand her better than she could have ever expected and no one pushes, demands her time or that she try harder to mesh with the group.
Finn, though. When he gets up and leaves, Rey knows that isn't normal operating procedure for him. He's as hungry for home and family as she is, but he wears it on his sleeve so much more than she does and so of course she sits up after he's been gone too long. Of course she reaches for her boots. Poe and John probably know exactly where she's going, but neither of them speak up and she doesn't look back as she leaves the nest, leaves the house.
She doesn't need the Force to find him, and as she approaches she makes sure her footsteps are loud enough he'll hear her coming, makes sure he won't be startled when she puts her hand so, so carefully at the center of his back.]
Finn?