[ She drums up a small smile, fond and regretful in equal parts. After all, it's still a recent memory when she had felt so indignant that Kylo had been presenting himself as her teacher, that she had allowed Keith to convey it to Poe in that way, rather than admit the truth of what was transpiring between them. It's so … convoluted. That's what makes it hard to explain. There's layers of what they allowed others to see, of what was really happening. ]
But as crazy as it sounds, I did wish that he was there.
Things got worse after the both of you were reassigned. Perdition's Rest was hard, made harder because of a vision I'd seen of a future where you were hurt and I had turned to the Dark Side. I had no one to turn to, no one who understood what I was afraid of. I spent a lot of that time thinking that if I just had someone, anyone who understood, that … it'd make sense. And I'd know what to do.
[ She looks up from her hands and over at Finn. ]
Then we joined Hathaway, and we were back in the same guild. And … he did understand. [ The things she was feeling not just about being isolated in the darkness in ALASTAIR, but with Luke, and how he'd disappointed her. She doesn't know how to contextualize that without drudging up the bond, however, and she doesn't have the vocabulary to explain it. Really, the crux of it is the emotional weight anyway — ] We grew closer, and I understood him too.
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[ She drums up a small smile, fond and regretful in equal parts. After all, it's still a recent memory when she had felt so indignant that Kylo had been presenting himself as her teacher, that she had allowed Keith to convey it to Poe in that way, rather than admit the truth of what was transpiring between them. It's so … convoluted. That's what makes it hard to explain. There's layers of what they allowed others to see, of what was really happening. ]
But as crazy as it sounds, I did wish that he was there.
Things got worse after the both of you were reassigned. Perdition's Rest was hard, made harder because of a vision I'd seen of a future where you were hurt and I had turned to the Dark Side. I had no one to turn to, no one who understood what I was afraid of. I spent a lot of that time thinking that if I just had someone, anyone who understood, that … it'd make sense. And I'd know what to do.
[ She looks up from her hands and over at Finn. ]
Then we joined Hathaway, and we were back in the same guild. And … he did understand. [ The things she was feeling not just about being isolated in the darkness in ALASTAIR, but with Luke, and how he'd disappointed her. She doesn't know how to contextualize that without drudging up the bond, however, and she doesn't have the vocabulary to explain it. Really, the crux of it is the emotional weight anyway — ] We grew closer, and I understood him too.