[ He thinks about saying that his offer is still on the table. Doesn't matter if he made it a little while back in a too-quiet hospital room or if it was a year ago (and it sometimes feels like it), he'd still hold to it. If Poe Dameron said "help me kill him," Finn would find a way. The people he's found are the first things he's had worth fighting for. More than ever in this place.
Poe probably already knows that, though.
So Finn hugs him back instead, a gesture that, for all the time and opportunities he's had to get used to doing it, never comes from something so small as a sense of obligation. Lets Poe's almost tagged-on corrections get a huff out of him. ]
I'm not sure I know anyone who does go out looking for it. Probably says something about our luck.
Assuming either of them actually did go out looking for a fight, he'd like to think they'd invite each other along for the ride. He'd like to think they're about on that level. ]
Look, I'm not mad. Okay? But the next time you want me to say I'm glad you're not dead, you really don't have to put so much work into the setup.
[ Weak-ass joking is all he's got in his spur-of-the-moment "see I'm really not mad" arsenal so far. It's a work in progress. ]
[ Poe laughs quietly, then winces, because he's bruised to hell and laughing kinda hurts.
He eases out of the hug, feeling better now that Finn doesn't seem to think he went haring off to go toe to toe with Kylo Ren alone. Again. By accident or otherwise. ]
[ And now, as Poe's penance for the thing that he didn't plan to do and that Finn is already moving on from because they've communicated like grownups (one more reason to want to PVP Kylo Ren and dismantle the First Order is a drop in the ocean anyway). Finn can steal a piece of bacon to restore balance, obviously.
It may be less about penance and more about wanting to eat the bacon. ]
[ Poe isn't actually fussed. He'll just turn the stove back up and add more bacon to the pan. ]
It's... yeah. Yeah it is. John asked me if I wanted to go, and I... wanted to go.
[ COUGH. He's gonna just poke that fascinating bacon with his fork. ] I'd invite you but I think--I don't think--that's not really--it's not that kind of vacation. I think.
Okay. Have... fun? [ I'd like to say Finn isn't listening to this and watching Poe with a certain level of sharp strategic fascination. That would be a lie. He's narrowing the full scope of his focus onto this onset of nerves.
(Of course, this is still Finn, who, when Jyn shows up next month or w/e the timeline is and says "Cassian kissed me," will be extremely surprised because he just kind of thought they were rolling at an acceptable level ride-or-die platonic association and loyalty, so. How much good is it actually doing him.)
His first instinct is to say something similar to "you know it would be okay to not invite me even if it was, right," but he feels like that's not exactly the branch this is supposed to be taking. And Poe would already know better than to invite him to anything out of obligation.
Finn decides to kind of YOLO this, in favor of getting a faster understanding of whether or not he needs to go back to being concerned. Surely if this were more bad news of some kind, he would've narrowed down possibilities already. He's great at bad news. ]
I'm pretty sure that if that's all you were trying to tell me, you'd have had an easier time telling me.
[ WOW FINN DON'T CALL HIM OUT LIKE THIS. Poe misses poking the bacon this time and scrapes the bottom of the pan with his fork instead, the feeling and sound of it making his teeth hurt.
The worst part is that Finn is right. He would have an easier time telling him that if it were all he was trying to say. He doesn't even know what he is trying to say. He and John are so--what? New, tentative, undefined. But when John looks at him, Poe feels seen in a way that he only ever has with Leia and his dad and Finn himself.
How the fuck does he say that? ]
We're probably going to have sex. More sex. We've been having sex. That's--we've been doing that.
[ It is... incredible... how much more sense the hesitation makes, suddenly. On the one hand, he appreciates the straightforwardness. It's always easier to get these things out of the way. That's what he was gunning for. On the other hand, it's good that Finn wasn't drinking anything, because that would have been a spittake waiting to happen.
He's not an inductee. He knows this is a thing that happens out in the world. People meet, people have sex. But he still just kinda sits there with his piece of bacon halfway to his mouth for a second, because it wasn't a series of words he actually expected to hear today.
Finn lets the ol' processor work on it. The fact that this is a situation that's happening. And has been happening. And will be happening. ]
[ BB-8 rolls in from the other room, chirping cheerfully about John and Poe knocking over all the stuff in the cupboard two weeks ago, and Poe makes a strangled shush noise before remembering that Finn cannot actually understand what BB-8 is saying.
Thank the Force for small favors.
He forks bacon onto the serving plate, very dedicated to that particular task. ]
Yeah. Well. Shore leave, then. We're taking shore leave. [ And then Poe is giving Finn a curious look because... Has he ever taken shore leave?? Is that a thing Stormtroopers are allowed to do, presumably with each other?
Stormtroopers having sex. There's a thought Poe never, ever thought he would consider. (Stormtroopers being people was never really on his radar before Finn. Stormtroopers being changeable, savable people.) He squinches up his face, trying to figure out how to ask-- ]
[ One day he's gonna bust binary wide open and get all the gossip he could ever want. But then he'd also have to live knowing it. He's adaptable though. He's adapted to bigger and more terrifying things than Poe and John taking shore leave together. It's gonna be okay.
Finn narrows his eyes like he's half-convinced that's supposed to be a trick question somehow. Like he's trying to solve the puzzle of why Poe is like this as a person, just in general. He pulls a face. Does that thing that isn't quite a shrug, as much as it is a hands spread, is this relevant somehow gesture. ]
Yeah? [ He already knows Poe's not, so at least the basics are out of the way on both sides? Now that they've been living together for like three months. Give him two seconds to make these puzzle pieces Fit and board the realization train. He literally just said he knows what shore leave is. Duh. The topic's on the table. ]
It's not-- officers get to take shore leave. Planetside and everything. Troops might get some downtime between details day-to-day, a couple of hours. Depends on what's happening. But I mean, that's. [ Okay you know what, he's putting the bacon down so he can gesture better, and sighing through his nose.
He's aware that Poe wasn't raised in the whole First Order... atmosphere, and that sometimes the things Finn understands as givens don't necessarily translate. He's very glad that Poe doesn't understand some of these things as givens. He'd be a lot less Poe if he did, and Poe being Poe is a good thing.
But it's sort of like if someone from the Quarantine walked up and asked "hey, so what's a Wookie?" You never think it's something you'll have to genuinely explain. It's just... a Wookie. There are just ways that things work. Stormtrooper sex politics have always been one of those things. ]
Okay, uh. So officially, downtime is for approved literature and vids, staying in the barracks, extra training. [ Card games. Solo runs, as it were, a feat at least marginally easier to manage. Which he's absolutely not going to talk about because he has limits and they're very clear limits. ] Unofficially, I guess-- if you find someone who's interested, and you've both got free time at the same time, and you figure out how to get privacy in the middle of the First Order... then you could make something happen. In theory. It's not like they don't teach us how these things work.
[ He waves his hand again. Like it helps him with this at all. Maybe as if to say "I would literally rather fly into another cannon than go over First Order sex ed details with you on this or any day, preemptively." Or maybe as if to say "stealing babies is their whole gig, yes. unapproved ones from clueless soldiers fumbling around aren't the ideal." ]
Never heard about anyone managing it. But it runs a little close to "personal loyalties" on paper when you're in the same cadre or anything, so. Not like they'd be bragging.
[ Because the person you made look bad in training the other day would probably report you just to get commended for their attentiveness and loyalty. Anyway this would be easier with a powerpoint presentation. ]
[ Poe pokes absently at the bacon as Finn speaks, watching his friend's face instead of what he's cooking.
It all sounds kinda shit, actually, which isn't surprising, because it's the First Order. Of course anything that encourages personal loyalties or, y'know, fun of any kind would be Against Regulations.
The bacon is burning. Poe hisses and stabs at it, trying to fork it (heh) out of the pan and onto the waiting plate and managing to scorch himself with hot grease in the process. ]
[ His best friend is a bacon disaster. God, look at him go.
(Finn, are you not a bacon hypocrite for not paying attention to the pan, either?)
Finn kinda shrugs it off. With an actual shrug this time. ]
It's not as bad as it sounds, as long as you don't know better. Just another regulation. Not the kind of thing you suffer over.
[ Get what you earn, get what you deserve. Extra incentive to make officer corps someday. One more way to exercise power and control over an army and remove all the agency from their lives. He knows better now. Obviously.
It's easier to separate the baseline simmer of his "tear the First Order apart with your teeth" anger from this particular line of conversation, partly for how weird it is to be on the subject and partly because... yeah. It was never an issue that bothered him much when he was still a stormtrooper. His problems turned up in different areas. ]
[ His thought process mostly flows along the lines of does it matter, initially.
Yeah, John's his commanding officer, but he knows a commanding officer's business isn't his business. They're not exactly friends. And there's not cause for outrage as far as he can tell, either, it's not his place to make calls on who Poe associates with. Now, if Poe were saying he's been having sex with Hux and thinks he's got a chance of turning things around here-- well. There'd be more blasters involved by now.
Finn assumes this line of questioning comes from a place of polite consideration, as many things do when they come from Poe, and not from the misplaced concern that he might not be able to deal with it, which as far as he knows isn't Poe's style. ]
Can't get any weirder than this conversation, Poe. [ HE'S NOT GONNA LIE ABOUT THAT? This whole morning is a write-off. ] Pretty sure I'll manage.
He turns off the stove and claims the last of the bacon before bringing the plate to the table, dropping into his own chair and setting it between them.
Poe exhales and leans back, taking a piece of bacon and crunching down on it. He's trying to figure out something to say, something that shows how much it means to have Finn's permission, even if he doesn't need it.
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Poe probably already knows that, though.
So Finn hugs him back instead, a gesture that, for all the time and opportunities he's had to get used to doing it, never comes from something so small as a sense of obligation. Lets Poe's almost tagged-on corrections get a huff out of him. ]
I'm not sure I know anyone who does go out looking for it. Probably says something about our luck.
[ Smash cut to the near future as an example, basically.
Assuming either of them actually did go out looking for a fight, he'd like to think they'd invite each other along for the ride. He'd like to think they're about on that level. ]
Look, I'm not mad. Okay? But the next time you want me to say I'm glad you're not dead, you really don't have to put so much work into the setup.
[ Weak-ass joking is all he's got in his spur-of-the-moment "see I'm really not mad" arsenal so far. It's a work in progress. ]
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He eases out of the hug, feeling better now that Finn doesn't seem to think he went haring off to go toe to toe with Kylo Ren alone. Again. By accident or otherwise. ]
So. About that vacation part.
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It may be less about penance and more about wanting to eat the bacon. ]
So it is a vacation.
[ Wonders never cease in the Quarantine. ]
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[ Poe isn't actually fussed. He'll just turn the stove back up and add more bacon to the pan. ]
It's... yeah. Yeah it is. John asked me if I wanted to go, and I... wanted to go.
[ COUGH. He's gonna just poke that fascinating bacon with his fork. ] I'd invite you but I think--I don't think--that's not really--it's not that kind of vacation. I think.
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(Of course, this is still Finn, who, when Jyn shows up next month or w/e the timeline is and says "Cassian kissed me," will be extremely surprised because he just kind of thought they were rolling at an acceptable level ride-or-die platonic association and loyalty, so. How much good is it actually doing him.)
His first instinct is to say something similar to "you know it would be okay to not invite me even if it was, right," but he feels like that's not exactly the branch this is supposed to be taking. And Poe would already know better than to invite him to anything out of obligation.
Finn decides to kind of YOLO this, in favor of getting a faster understanding of whether or not he needs to go back to being concerned. Surely if this were more bad news of some kind, he would've narrowed down possibilities already. He's great at bad news. ]
I'm pretty sure that if that's all you were trying to tell me, you'd have had an easier time telling me.
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The worst part is that Finn is right. He would have an easier time telling him that if it were all he was trying to say. He doesn't even know what he is trying to say. He and John are so--what? New, tentative, undefined. But when John looks at him, Poe feels seen in a way that he only ever has with Leia and his dad and Finn himself.
How the fuck does he say that? ]
We're probably going to have sex. More sex. We've been having sex. That's--we've been doing that.
1/2
He's not an inductee. He knows this is a thing that happens out in the world. People meet, people have sex. But he still just kinda sits there with his piece of bacon halfway to his mouth for a second, because it wasn't a series of words he actually expected to hear today.
Finn lets the ol' processor work on it. The fact that this is a situation that's happening. And has been happening. And will be happening. ]
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Right.
[ Right. Right. ]
You-- you could've just called it shore leave. [ CLEARS HIS THROAT??? GESTURES VAGUELY WITH HIS BACON? ] I know what shore leave means.
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Thank the Force for small favors.
He forks bacon onto the serving plate, very dedicated to that particular task. ]
Yeah. Well. Shore leave, then. We're taking shore leave. [ And then Poe is giving Finn a curious look because... Has he ever taken shore leave?? Is that a thing Stormtroopers are allowed to do, presumably with each other?
Stormtroopers having sex. There's a thought Poe never, ever thought he would consider. (Stormtroopers being people was never really on his radar before Finn. Stormtroopers being changeable, savable people.) He squinches up his face, trying to figure out how to ask-- ]
So are you a virgin?
[ Or words could just happen like they do. ]
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Finn narrows his eyes like he's half-convinced that's supposed to be a trick question somehow. Like he's trying to solve the puzzle of why Poe is like this as a person, just in general. He pulls a face. Does that thing that isn't quite a shrug, as much as it is a hands spread, is this relevant somehow gesture. ]
Yeah? [ He already knows Poe's not, so at least the basics are out of the way on both sides? Now that they've been living together for like three months. Give him two seconds to make these puzzle pieces Fit and board the realization train. He literally just said he knows what shore leave is. Duh. The topic's on the table. ]
It's not-- officers get to take shore leave. Planetside and everything. Troops might get some downtime between details day-to-day, a couple of hours. Depends on what's happening. But I mean, that's. [ Okay you know what, he's putting the bacon down so he can gesture better, and sighing through his nose.
He's aware that Poe wasn't raised in the whole First Order... atmosphere, and that sometimes the things Finn understands as givens don't necessarily translate. He's very glad that Poe doesn't understand some of these things as givens. He'd be a lot less Poe if he did, and Poe being Poe is a good thing.
But it's sort of like if someone from the Quarantine walked up and asked "hey, so what's a Wookie?" You never think it's something you'll have to genuinely explain. It's just... a Wookie. There are just ways that things work. Stormtrooper sex politics have always been one of those things. ]
Okay, uh. So officially, downtime is for approved literature and vids, staying in the barracks, extra training. [ Card games. Solo runs, as it were, a feat at least marginally easier to manage. Which he's absolutely not going to talk about because he has limits and they're very clear limits. ] Unofficially, I guess-- if you find someone who's interested, and you've both got free time at the same time, and you figure out how to get privacy in the middle of the First Order... then you could make something happen. In theory. It's not like they don't teach us how these things work.
[ He waves his hand again. Like it helps him with this at all. Maybe as if to say "I would literally rather fly into another cannon than go over First Order sex ed details with you on this or any day, preemptively." Or maybe as if to say "stealing babies is their whole gig, yes. unapproved ones from clueless soldiers fumbling around aren't the ideal." ]
Never heard about anyone managing it. But it runs a little close to "personal loyalties" on paper when you're in the same cadre or anything, so. Not like they'd be bragging.
[ Because the person you made look bad in training the other day would probably report you just to get commended for their attentiveness and loyalty. Anyway this would be easier with a powerpoint presentation. ]
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It all sounds kinda shit, actually, which isn't surprising, because it's the First Order. Of course anything that encourages personal loyalties or, y'know, fun of any kind would be Against Regulations.
The bacon is burning. Poe hisses and stabs at it, trying to fork it (heh) out of the pan and onto the waiting plate and managing to scorch himself with hot grease in the process. ]
That's. Awful. It's awful, is the word.
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(Finn, are you not a bacon hypocrite for not paying attention to the pan, either?)
Finn kinda shrugs it off. With an actual shrug this time. ]
It's not as bad as it sounds, as long as you don't know better. Just another regulation. Not the kind of thing you suffer over.
[ Get what you earn, get what you deserve. Extra incentive to make officer corps someday. One more way to exercise power and control over an army and remove all the agency from their lives. He knows better now. Obviously.
It's easier to separate the baseline simmer of his "tear the First Order apart with your teeth" anger from this particular line of conversation, partly for how weird it is to be on the subject and partly because... yeah. It was never an issue that bothered him much when he was still a stormtrooper. His problems turned up in different areas. ]
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[ Still shaking his head. He puts the last of the bacon into the pan and rests his hip against the counter next to the stove. ]
You're okay with it, though? Me and John? Won't make things weird for you?
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Yeah, John's his commanding officer, but he knows a commanding officer's business isn't his business. They're not exactly friends. And there's not cause for outrage as far as he can tell, either, it's not his place to make calls on who Poe associates with. Now, if Poe were saying he's been having sex with Hux and thinks he's got a chance of turning things around here-- well. There'd be more blasters involved by now.
Finn assumes this line of questioning comes from a place of polite consideration, as many things do when they come from Poe, and not from the misplaced concern that he might not be able to deal with it, which as far as he knows isn't Poe's style. ]
Can't get any weirder than this conversation, Poe. [ HE'S NOT GONNA LIE ABOUT THAT? This whole morning is a write-off. ] Pretty sure I'll manage.
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I dunno. We can get pretty weird.
[ TOO MUCH INFORMATION? TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
He turns off the stove and claims the last of the bacon before bringing the plate to the table, dropping into his own chair and setting it between them.
Poe exhales and leans back, taking a piece of bacon and crunching down on it. He's trying to figure out something to say, something that shows how much it means to have Finn's permission, even if he doesn't need it.
He settles on-- ]
Thanks, Finn.