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[ yes! thank you, finn. thank you for immediately asking the correct questions so she doesn't feel like a psychopath for not knowing how to handle this. ]
I don't know. Yes, probably.
[ she sure enjoyed it and she knows that is because it was cassian who was kissing her and not just because she was in need of some kissin'. yes, it is probably a good thing, it's probably an excellent thing because jyn feels a particular fee toward him but that's for chumps and she refuses to admit it. she's better than that, she's better than feelings. ]
I don't know. Yes, probably.
[ she sure enjoyed it and she knows that is because it was cassian who was kissing her and not just because she was in need of some kissin'. yes, it is probably a good thing, it's probably an excellent thing because jyn feels a particular fee toward him but that's for chumps and she refuses to admit it. she's better than that, she's better than feelings. ]
No. John stayed over with me--we went and got checked out this morning, just to be safe.
[ A few deep bruises, a few cracked ribs, nothing that a little magic and moving carefully for a few days can't fix. Poe's nose isn't even broken, though he has the raccoon-eyed bruises to show how close it came to being so. Nothing but new memories, Kylo's snarling face, the threats to everyone Poe loves.
He forks the rest of the bacon out of the pan and turns the heat down, leaving the stove to hug Finn. It's impulsive, yeah, it's maybe a little out of nowhere, but Poe can't get the image of Kylo's bared teeth, the words You have so much more to lose out of his head. He can't shake the feeling that he's pulled everyone he knows deeper into the crossfire through his own impulsivity, and isn't that exactly how he got Paige killed? Isn't that exactly why Leia--
The thought of Leia cuts that line of thinking off at the quick.
Poe rests his face against Finn's shoulder. ]
I swear, Finn, I don't go looking for trouble. Not usually. Not this time.
[ A few deep bruises, a few cracked ribs, nothing that a little magic and moving carefully for a few days can't fix. Poe's nose isn't even broken, though he has the raccoon-eyed bruises to show how close it came to being so. Nothing but new memories, Kylo's snarling face, the threats to everyone Poe loves.
He forks the rest of the bacon out of the pan and turns the heat down, leaving the stove to hug Finn. It's impulsive, yeah, it's maybe a little out of nowhere, but Poe can't get the image of Kylo's bared teeth, the words You have so much more to lose out of his head. He can't shake the feeling that he's pulled everyone he knows deeper into the crossfire through his own impulsivity, and isn't that exactly how he got Paige killed? Isn't that exactly why Leia--
The thought of Leia cuts that line of thinking off at the quick.
Poe rests his face against Finn's shoulder. ]
I swear, Finn, I don't go looking for trouble. Not usually. Not this time.
[ Don't let the feelings man keep you down, Jyn. That's the spirit. ]
Probably has to be better than no. That's a start. [ He assumes, anyway. It sounds valid. ] Why'd you end up here? I know it's not for advice.
[ He knows his brand. It's bad peopleing and ride or die. ]
We've got plenty of space if you need it? And I've got time if you just need that.
[ Sleep is dumb just like feelings tbh. ]
Probably has to be better than no. That's a start. [ He assumes, anyway. It sounds valid. ] Why'd you end up here? I know it's not for advice.
[ He knows his brand. It's bad peopleing and ride or die. ]
We've got plenty of space if you need it? And I've got time if you just need that.
[ Sleep is dumb just like feelings tbh. ]
I can't stay, I said I would be back in an hour.
[ she huffs, walking around in a little circle like a puppy that can't get comfortable. ]
I came here because I knew you wouldn't tease me for not knowing what to do. [ another huff, more frustrated, fingers lifting automatically to fiddle with her necklace. never has she wanted her mother around more than now because she never had the chance to get advice from her mother and she kind of needs it. idryssa only taught her about safety and hygiene, no one told her how to navigate affection because it was unheard of. ] Is that what we do now? Kiss? Am I supposed to when I go home? When... when do people do that?
[ is there a list she can download? ]
[ she huffs, walking around in a little circle like a puppy that can't get comfortable. ]
I came here because I knew you wouldn't tease me for not knowing what to do. [ another huff, more frustrated, fingers lifting automatically to fiddle with her necklace. never has she wanted her mother around more than now because she never had the chance to get advice from her mother and she kind of needs it. idryssa only taught her about safety and hygiene, no one told her how to navigate affection because it was unheard of. ] Is that what we do now? Kiss? Am I supposed to when I go home? When... when do people do that?
[ is there a list she can download? ]
Edited 2018-03-09 16:45 (UTC)
[ He thinks about saying that his offer is still on the table. Doesn't matter if he made it a little while back in a too-quiet hospital room or if it was a year ago (and it sometimes feels like it), he'd still hold to it. If Poe Dameron said "help me kill him," Finn would find a way. The people he's found are the first things he's had worth fighting for. More than ever in this place.
Poe probably already knows that, though.
So Finn hugs him back instead, a gesture that, for all the time and opportunities he's had to get used to doing it, never comes from something so small as a sense of obligation. Lets Poe's almost tagged-on corrections get a huff out of him. ]
I'm not sure I know anyone who does go out looking for it. Probably says something about our luck.
[ Smash cut to the near future as an example, basically.
Assuming either of them actually did go out looking for a fight, he'd like to think they'd invite each other along for the ride. He'd like to think they're about on that level. ]
Look, I'm not mad. Okay? But the next time you want me to say I'm glad you're not dead, you really don't have to put so much work into the setup.
[ Weak-ass joking is all he's got in his spur-of-the-moment "see I'm really not mad" arsenal so far. It's a work in progress. ]
Poe probably already knows that, though.
So Finn hugs him back instead, a gesture that, for all the time and opportunities he's had to get used to doing it, never comes from something so small as a sense of obligation. Lets Poe's almost tagged-on corrections get a huff out of him. ]
I'm not sure I know anyone who does go out looking for it. Probably says something about our luck.
[ Smash cut to the near future as an example, basically.
Assuming either of them actually did go out looking for a fight, he'd like to think they'd invite each other along for the ride. He'd like to think they're about on that level. ]
Look, I'm not mad. Okay? But the next time you want me to say I'm glad you're not dead, you really don't have to put so much work into the setup.
[ Weak-ass joking is all he's got in his spur-of-the-moment "see I'm really not mad" arsenal so far. It's a work in progress. ]
[ It's so relatable as a struggle, and he's so ill-equipped to help. Like, he feels like Poe would objectively be the better choice for questions like this.
But in what Finn knows of Jyn-speak so far, the swearing to secrecy and "I knew you wouldn't tease me" all roughly equals out to "I'm willing to trust you with this." Which is important. Enough to have him crossing his arms and leaning back against the door instead of just going back to bed or trying to ask to drag Poe into it.
Poe is a little on the teasing side, after all. When he's in the right mood. ]
Jyn. I have no idea when people do that.
[ There are so many individual things to think about with this issue, and it's not something that gunning it on impulse can cover across the board. Is it supposed to be one of those things that a person Just Knows when it's happening? How do people live like this. ]
But in what Finn knows of Jyn-speak so far, the swearing to secrecy and "I knew you wouldn't tease me" all roughly equals out to "I'm willing to trust you with this." Which is important. Enough to have him crossing his arms and leaning back against the door instead of just going back to bed or trying to ask to drag Poe into it.
Poe is a little on the teasing side, after all. When he's in the right mood. ]
Jyn. I have no idea when people do that.
[ There are so many individual things to think about with this issue, and it's not something that gunning it on impulse can cover across the board. Is it supposed to be one of those things that a person Just Knows when it's happening? How do people live like this. ]
[ what if
jyn just sits down where she is standing because surprise that is what she does, this is too difficult to handle when standing. she and finn are on the same wavelength again when she mutters: ]
How do people do this?
[ how do you welcome affection and care after a lifetime of loneliness and self-sufficiency? she's so touch starved still that sometimes he touches her hand and her brain goes insane, it's so overwhelming. the fact that people just casually touch and kiss is mindboggling and she hates that she can't just accept it and move on without overthinking or panicking.
which makes her bitter about the lives that they've lived that this isn't easy. ]
jyn just sits down where she is standing because surprise that is what she does, this is too difficult to handle when standing. she and finn are on the same wavelength again when she mutters: ]
How do people do this?
[ how do you welcome affection and care after a lifetime of loneliness and self-sufficiency? she's so touch starved still that sometimes he touches her hand and her brain goes insane, it's so overwhelming. the fact that people just casually touch and kiss is mindboggling and she hates that she can't just accept it and move on without overthinking or panicking.
which makes her bitter about the lives that they've lived that this isn't easy. ]
[ That tracks. What's gonna happen, someone else will need the hallway? Pff. ]
Trial and error? [ Fuck it, he'll sit down, too. ] Bet it's easier to say that when you've actually had time for trial and error. I don't think I know a lot of people who have.
Trial and error? [ Fuck it, he'll sit down, too. ] Bet it's easier to say that when you've actually had time for trial and error. I don't think I know a lot of people who have.
[ she doesn't want to have errors with cassian.
jyn is barely twenty two. she's spent her entire life running and fighting and surviving. she knows the harsh realities of war, she knows you can fight and fight and fight and still lose at the end of the day, she knows you can lose what feels like too many battles and still win the war, and she knows with heartbreaking clarity and peace what it feels like to sacrifice everything for the hope that it was enough.
and it was, it was enough.
but nowhere in all that death and pain and loss did she ever have the chance to learn how to live and it isn't fair because now she has a chance but it feels like there is no way she is good enough to keep it from slipping through her fingers. ]
We've already died, why is it still so hard?
[ her knees draw up to her chest and she looks young for once, hard edges and armor lost, voice soft and helpless. ]
jyn is barely twenty two. she's spent her entire life running and fighting and surviving. she knows the harsh realities of war, she knows you can fight and fight and fight and still lose at the end of the day, she knows you can lose what feels like too many battles and still win the war, and she knows with heartbreaking clarity and peace what it feels like to sacrifice everything for the hope that it was enough.
and it was, it was enough.
but nowhere in all that death and pain and loss did she ever have the chance to learn how to live and it isn't fair because now she has a chance but it feels like there is no way she is good enough to keep it from slipping through her fingers. ]
We've already died, why is it still so hard?
[ her knees draw up to her chest and she looks young for once, hard edges and armor lost, voice soft and helpless. ]
[ Oh. Not an especially eloquent thought to have, oh. Oh, and the way that life sometimes cheats. Oh, and the way that things get taken before you know what they even are, and sometimes you're so busy trying to function that you don't realize what you lost by never being allowed to have it.
He's never died. Only come close a few times. Still, he thinks the sentiment behind it falls in the neighborhood of things he understands. ]
I don't know. Figuring out good things isn't in my pay grade. [ Something good you have is something you can lose. There's always another shoe waiting to drop. Maybe that's why.
Finn's always had trouble pinpointing exactly what it is about Jyn and Cassian that he can feel himself reflecting. The sense of cautious ease, an understanding without a real name. Different than it is with Rey or with Poe. People are hard, being a person is hard. Maybe they're all just a little off in the same ways. (He can't think broken if it's not just him.)
Finn knocks the fronts of his boots together a couple of times, where he's got his legs stretched out.
He's better at hope than he used to be. That has to be good for something. After a second, he tips his head to one side. ] But I'm pretty sure Cassian knows about as much about doing this as either of us do, so.
[ That's probably a good thing too right. They're both at like level 0. No expectations. They can figure it out from the ground floor. He thinks that sounds like a thing that's real. What good is being a whole two years older when he can only vaguely pretend to be wise. smdh. But you know what he absolutely, 100% knows about this? ]
I figure anything you know is a good thing is something worth finding. You're still on the same team. You're in this together. Worse ways to start.
He's never died. Only come close a few times. Still, he thinks the sentiment behind it falls in the neighborhood of things he understands. ]
I don't know. Figuring out good things isn't in my pay grade. [ Something good you have is something you can lose. There's always another shoe waiting to drop. Maybe that's why.
Finn's always had trouble pinpointing exactly what it is about Jyn and Cassian that he can feel himself reflecting. The sense of cautious ease, an understanding without a real name. Different than it is with Rey or with Poe. People are hard, being a person is hard. Maybe they're all just a little off in the same ways. (He can't think broken if it's not just him.)
Finn knocks the fronts of his boots together a couple of times, where he's got his legs stretched out.
He's better at hope than he used to be. That has to be good for something. After a second, he tips his head to one side. ] But I'm pretty sure Cassian knows about as much about doing this as either of us do, so.
[ That's probably a good thing too right. They're both at like level 0. No expectations. They can figure it out from the ground floor. He thinks that sounds like a thing that's real. What good is being a whole two years older when he can only vaguely pretend to be wise. smdh. But you know what he absolutely, 100% knows about this? ]
I figure anything you know is a good thing is something worth finding. You're still on the same team. You're in this together. Worse ways to start.
Together, [ she repeats. it's the thing that makes the most sense. they've been partners from the start, that hasn't changed here. her chest still feels tight and everything is sitting uncomfortably in her chest, but finn is right.
they're a team. ]
If you tell anyone...
[ it will not be pretty. she was in an imperial prison, she knows all about torture. no, she would never, finn is a Good Person and she adores him. but she will let the cat pee all over his everything until all he can smell for the rest of his life is cat urine. ]
they're a team. ]
If you tell anyone...
[ it will not be pretty. she was in an imperial prison, she knows all about torture. no, she would never, finn is a Good Person and she adores him. but she will let the cat pee all over his everything until all he can smell for the rest of his life is cat urine. ]
[ At the very least, it doesn't seem like trying hard managed to mess this situation up. He's not sure if it really helped. There's not much help to be given from a source with zero functional knowledge. She doesn't seem worse off, and that has to be some kind of a good sign.
It's always good to hear you're not alone.
Jyn is even still herself enough to make threats. That probably shouldn't make him smile, and yet? ]
Yeah, I know. [ Or he can guess what the implication is. She could basically destroy him on any given day, through a lot of different means. ] Don't worry. I don't break promises.
It's always good to hear you're not alone.
Jyn is even still herself enough to make threats. That probably shouldn't make him smile, and yet? ]
Yeah, I know. [ Or he can guess what the implication is. She could basically destroy him on any given day, through a lot of different means. ] Don't worry. I don't break promises.
[ she knows she should go back, her hour is tick tick ticking away but. maybe in a few minutes when she's brave. just kidding, she's never brave so she'll go back in a few minutes when she has the wherewithal to shove these feelings down with the rest of them. ]
I never asked, what happened.
[ she gestures at the door like that explains the rest of her entirely vague question. everything was cool and now he and poe live here and it's been A While and she's just bothering to ask now because 3am on the floor in the hallway seems like the best time to have conversations about life, the universe, and everything. ]
I never asked, what happened.
[ she gestures at the door like that explains the rest of her entirely vague question. everything was cool and now he and poe live here and it's been A While and she's just bothering to ask now because 3am on the floor in the hallway seems like the best time to have conversations about life, the universe, and everything. ]
[ It's sleepover talking rules without the sleepover. Finn makes a half-assed effort to look up and behind himself at the door since she went to the trouble of gesturing.
He's pretty sure he knows exactly what she means already. But he has to remember that he was also "pretty sure" DJ actually owned that ship from Canto Bight for like twenty minutes? Or however long that time frame was exactly, because TLJ could be a little muddled about that at times. Anyway, he opts to clarify, since it is 3 AM and she could be thinking of something else. ]
With what? Moving?
He's pretty sure he knows exactly what she means already. But he has to remember that he was also "pretty sure" DJ actually owned that ship from Canto Bight for like twenty minutes? Or however long that time frame was exactly, because TLJ could be a little muddled about that at times. Anyway, he opts to clarify, since it is 3 AM and she could be thinking of something else. ]
With what? Moving?
[ ... that's a fair answer, honestly. ]
Kind of complicated. Some of it's not really mine to talk about. [ And that's not just him trying to make his case about being good with promises. Finn doesn't sound against giving an answer by any means. He takes a second to think, though, forehead creasing.
Some of it he knows should be fine to mention. And he thinks he can manage to not make Rey or Leia look like villains or something here. It wasn't some good versus bad thinking at the end of the day, just choices that couldn't reconcile.
But he doesn't know what Jyn and Cassian (who he is treating as a singular unit in this case, because anything Jyn hears from him is fine for Cassian to also hear) know about Rey and the Force, or about a lot of the sort of. Mess. That is the interpersonal relationships web in the wars of these, our stars.
Which actually gives Finn a decent starting point. ]
What do you know about Kylo Ren?
[ aka the one variable in this equation he absolutely doesn't care if he makes them look awful. Since Kylo Ren is awful. ]
Kind of complicated. Some of it's not really mine to talk about. [ And that's not just him trying to make his case about being good with promises. Finn doesn't sound against giving an answer by any means. He takes a second to think, though, forehead creasing.
Some of it he knows should be fine to mention. And he thinks he can manage to not make Rey or Leia look like villains or something here. It wasn't some good versus bad thinking at the end of the day, just choices that couldn't reconcile.
But he doesn't know what Jyn and Cassian (who he is treating as a singular unit in this case, because anything Jyn hears from him is fine for Cassian to also hear) know about Rey and the Force, or about a lot of the sort of. Mess. That is the interpersonal relationships web in the wars of these, our stars.
Which actually gives Finn a decent starting point. ]
What do you know about Kylo Ren?
[ aka the one variable in this equation he absolutely doesn't care if he makes them look awful. Since Kylo Ren is awful. ]
He's a twat.
[ a shrug. she heard it second hand through cassian so it's not like she even really knows, but she does decide to clarify further than that. ]
Poe told Cassian he was a Force user, but shitty. As a person, not his proficiency with the Force.
[ a shrug. she heard it second hand through cassian so it's not like she even really knows, but she does decide to clarify further than that. ]
Poe told Cassian he was a Force user, but shitty. As a person, not his proficiency with the Force.
Edited 2018-03-14 02:14 (UTC)
That's about right. [ "He's a twat." Jyn you're doing amazing sweetie. Finn goes to the painstaking effort of schooling his expression. One of those things he's plenty efficient at through necessity, if not prone to doing as a default. ]
He tried to kill us. Rey and me. Back home, before we got here. Almost managed it. Then he showed up here, tried to kill Poe. Almost managed that, too. Kylo Ren tortures people. Kills people. Gives out orders to kill people he can't be bothered to murder on his own.
[ Kylo Ren makes up a fair amount of the reasons Finn jerks awake some nights, feeling like he's wrapped around a hard line of phantom pain. The surge of fear and adrenaline. Rey hitting the ground on Starkiller. The sound of Poe's distant screaming.
Finn's never seen a reason not to keep his distaste amped up to the full 100. A beat, then: ]
So obviously he's with the First Order.
[ The time just switched from 3 to receipt o'clock. ]
He tried to kill us. Rey and me. Back home, before we got here. Almost managed it. Then he showed up here, tried to kill Poe. Almost managed that, too. Kylo Ren tortures people. Kills people. Gives out orders to kill people he can't be bothered to murder on his own.
[ Kylo Ren makes up a fair amount of the reasons Finn jerks awake some nights, feeling like he's wrapped around a hard line of phantom pain. The surge of fear and adrenaline. Rey hitting the ground on Starkiller. The sound of Poe's distant screaming.
Finn's never seen a reason not to keep his distaste amped up to the full 100. A beat, then: ]
So obviously he's with the First Order.
[ The time just switched from 3 to receipt o'clock. ]
[ it doesn't completely compare because of all that force garbage, but jyn naturally applies her disgust for krennic to kylo ren without even having to put any effort into it. she's already conflated the first order with the empire, so it's not a huge leap to make. krennic continually ruined her life and became something of a personal nightmare for her until cassian shot him, kylo ren (what
a ridiculous name) seems to be something of finn's personal nightmare. ]
That is why Poe was in the hospital. [ at least his moping finally makes sense and jyn feels even better about making him work it out in a productive way. ]
a ridiculous name) seems to be something of finn's personal nightmare. ]
That is why Poe was in the hospital. [ at least his moping finally makes sense and jyn feels even better about making him work it out in a productive way. ]
Yeah.
[ The finer details are part of what's not his to share. The basic stuff's enough to get his point across. ]
Rey and Leia were just... being Rey and Leia. [ Good. Kind when they have every reason not to be. Hopeful when no one else could find a thread to grab. He'd catch grenades for them without question. ] They thought if we've got him here away from the First Order, maybe they could... get him to turn. Switch sides. We didn't agree with that.
[ Put Rey up like collateral, he'd thought. Her and anyone connected to them. It didn't feel like a hope. It felt like someone's desperation. The logic on his end still isn't complicated to him. Bad idea. Bad person. He wishes he could legitimately understand it. ]
They backed down, but. [ He pulls a face. Shakes his head. ] Hard to hear that a maybe might be worth more than everything he's already done to you. Everything he's been part of. Even if they didn't go through with it. So we thought we should get some space.
[ Things still aren't close to the same. But that has a way of happening, he's realizing. ]
[ The finer details are part of what's not his to share. The basic stuff's enough to get his point across. ]
Rey and Leia were just... being Rey and Leia. [ Good. Kind when they have every reason not to be. Hopeful when no one else could find a thread to grab. He'd catch grenades for them without question. ] They thought if we've got him here away from the First Order, maybe they could... get him to turn. Switch sides. We didn't agree with that.
[ Put Rey up like collateral, he'd thought. Her and anyone connected to them. It didn't feel like a hope. It felt like someone's desperation. The logic on his end still isn't complicated to him. Bad idea. Bad person. He wishes he could legitimately understand it. ]
They backed down, but. [ He pulls a face. Shakes his head. ] Hard to hear that a maybe might be worth more than everything he's already done to you. Everything he's been part of. Even if they didn't go through with it. So we thought we should get some space.
[ Things still aren't close to the same. But that has a way of happening, he's realizing. ]
[ she understands rey and leia being rey and leia, especially leia -- which is odd, considering she's known rey longer and odd considering jyn can feel the undercurrent of temper that seems to envelop the princess. it matches jyn's own, equal parts anger and loss. leia's goodness shines brighter than anything jyn could manage.
chirrut would disagree, but he isn't here to have an opinion. ]
They want to save him?
[ and jyn understands, wanting to bring someone back. she'd struggled to reconcile galen leaving with the empire when she was small, she'd convinced herself of the truth, but too many years had passed and she'd let saw convince her of a lie to protect her heart. but her father was an imperial, double agent or not, and though his revenge eventually destroyed the death star it wasn't until after jedha, after scarif,
after alderaan.
did he deserve a chance? maybe. jyn had wanted to save him, but... at least galen didn't believe in what she was doing. ]
chirrut would disagree, but he isn't here to have an opinion. ]
They want to save him?
[ and jyn understands, wanting to bring someone back. she'd struggled to reconcile galen leaving with the empire when she was small, she'd convinced herself of the truth, but too many years had passed and she'd let saw convince her of a lie to protect her heart. but her father was an imperial, double agent or not, and though his revenge eventually destroyed the death star it wasn't until after jedha, after scarif,
after alderaan.
did he deserve a chance? maybe. jyn had wanted to save him, but... at least galen didn't believe in what she was doing. ]
They wanna try.
[ He's not sure he sees how that pans out even if they do somehow manage to change Kylo Ren's mind. ]
He's gotten the chance to leave before. Didn't seem to think of it as a rescue.
[ If Slip showed up here tomorrow, Finn thinks with sudden clarity, or hell, even Nines or Zeroes, he'd try. He'd try until it got him killed or until it risked getting someone else killed.
But he would try, because stormtroopers don't get the luxury of choice, because Slip didn't get a chance, and at a certain point Finn knows it would be because he's selfish, too. Because he doesn't want to be the only one to make it out. He doesn't know anyone who would have gone with him but sometimes it still feels like something must be wrong with him, or that he must have done something wrong. ]
Hard to convince someone who doesn't think they're on the wrong side. Maybe they'll figure it out. I don't know.
[ Maybe they can do what his father offering a way out and a family to go back to couldn't do, somehow. Maybe part of Finn just resents how easily a door opened up for Kylo Ren, when he had to rely on luck and desperation, terrified of the fact that he'd lowered his blaster against orders and terrified of something he'd been raised to see as unstoppable turning against him. #NarrativeFoilProblems
If Rey or Leia need help, he'll be there in a heartbeat. But the space has been good. ]
[ He's not sure he sees how that pans out even if they do somehow manage to change Kylo Ren's mind. ]
He's gotten the chance to leave before. Didn't seem to think of it as a rescue.
[ If Slip showed up here tomorrow, Finn thinks with sudden clarity, or hell, even Nines or Zeroes, he'd try. He'd try until it got him killed or until it risked getting someone else killed.
But he would try, because stormtroopers don't get the luxury of choice, because Slip didn't get a chance, and at a certain point Finn knows it would be because he's selfish, too. Because he doesn't want to be the only one to make it out. He doesn't know anyone who would have gone with him but sometimes it still feels like something must be wrong with him, or that he must have done something wrong. ]
Hard to convince someone who doesn't think they're on the wrong side. Maybe they'll figure it out. I don't know.
[ Maybe they can do what his father offering a way out and a family to go back to couldn't do, somehow. Maybe part of Finn just resents how easily a door opened up for Kylo Ren, when he had to rely on luck and desperation, terrified of the fact that he'd lowered his blaster against orders and terrified of something he'd been raised to see as unstoppable turning against him. #NarrativeFoilProblems
If Rey or Leia need help, he'll be there in a heartbeat. But the space has been good. ]
Idealism doesn't win wars, [ jyn comments idly, tipping her head back to rest against the wall as her eyes close. ]
That is why people like Cassian exist.
[ someone to get their hands dirty so mon mothma and bail organa could keep theirs clean, keep the blood of her pristine robes. it's a sad way to think, idealism and hope are supposed to drive rebellions and in some way, she knows they do. hope kept rogue one going, but it didn't stop them from doing what needed to be done.
but jyn is a realist, regardless of her hope. she knows better than to let hope lead blindly. ]
That is why people like Cassian exist.
[ someone to get their hands dirty so mon mothma and bail organa could keep theirs clean, keep the blood of her pristine robes. it's a sad way to think, idealism and hope are supposed to drive rebellions and in some way, she knows they do. hope kept rogue one going, but it didn't stop them from doing what needed to be done.
but jyn is a realist, regardless of her hope. she knows better than to let hope lead blindly. ]
[ It's weird to hear those words in that sort of context. Not about idealism, because that holds up to his line of thinking. Cassian said the same sort of thing at the Glow Ball. He remembers that.
But that's why they exist. Not what they exist for.
People like Jyn, too, he thinks. Maybe like him. People who were made, didn't have a chance to become until now. DJ called war a machine; in some ways he wasn't wrong. Just a horrible scumbag.
Finn wouldn't trade Jyn and Cassian as they are for anyone. He wouldn't change how his life went, because of what he's found.
He'll fight until there's nothing left of him if it means there's a chance he can keep it from happening to someone else, though. ]
You would say that now that I'm finally getting the hang of idealism. [ its 3am jokes don't count towards his monthly limit rn.
important edit: also, he loves her. ]
But that's why they exist. Not what they exist for.
People like Jyn, too, he thinks. Maybe like him. People who were made, didn't have a chance to become until now. DJ called war a machine; in some ways he wasn't wrong. Just a horrible scumbag.
Finn wouldn't trade Jyn and Cassian as they are for anyone. He wouldn't change how his life went, because of what he's found.
He'll fight until there's nothing left of him if it means there's a chance he can keep it from happening to someone else, though. ]
You would say that now that I'm finally getting the hang of idealism. [ its 3am jokes don't count towards his monthly limit rn.
important edit: also, he loves her. ]
Edited 2018-03-16 14:55 (UTC)
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