[ fuck yes. hell yes. a world of yes. finn is on him like a baby koala and all is right in the world. nothing about him is low-key on a normal day, but especially not now. he's definitely being a show-off, ngl. his fingers dig into his own vantage points on finn's neck and back. he takes a second to congratulate himself on having the foresight to donate a low-collared shirt to finn's previously non-existent wardrobe so he can make his way down into collarbone territory. he's gonna bring some suction into this party.
HOWEVER — when he shoved finn down onto the couch for a better, more horizontal make out angle, he didn't exactly ... fully reorient himself to be on the couch. he went from sitting to getting one leg vaguely on the couch. the more he gets into having A Good Time, the less attention he pays to trying to use the rest of his body for staying up on this couch. five seconds later, they're no longer taking up valuable couch space but valuable floor space. sideways, like gravity wanted a nala-simba rollover situation but got tired in the middle.
his face ends up smashed against finn's neck at an awkward angle. it takes him a second to fully register what just happened to him. it all happened so fast, okay. but when it clicks, he just laughs. laughing hysterically while still smashed against finn's neck. what else can you do, okay. it was funny! they made out so hard they fell off the couch. that's some high school bullshit that never happened to him because growing up on yavin 4 was probably like growing up in the middle of the woods. ]
[ does poe own shirts that aren't low-collared bc this reporter is left to question. i do however love the appeal of the wear your bf's clothes before you're bfs though it's all quality.
scratch that, the floor isn't quality. the floor is hard and was not invited to this party. gravity kicked open the door like that guy from seinfeld and HERE WE FUCKIN ARE. it also takes finn a second to kinda catch up with this turn in events. his conclusion is mostly "ah we're on the floor now" bc he wasn't paying attention to poe's leg situation, like a fool. micromanaging could have saved them rip i can't believe this is how they died. yeeting off of a couch.
poe can have his laughfest. laugh it up!!!!!! no really finn doesn't have salt about this, it's a nice laugh. he doesn't have hysterical-level in him personally rn, but he can appreciate exactly how dumb this is and cash in on some chuckling. ]
I bet that could've been worse.
[ no one is trying to shoot them. they've succeeded, if you really think about it. this might be the most optimistic thought finn's had all day. finn shoves his handsome young ward a little so he can sit up. floor rules 2k18 it's basically the hunger games down here. ]
[ the answer is yes because i did a quick skim of the comics to learn the truth. this particular shirt was strategic — or more realistically he only grabbed like one other outfit on the escape from d'qar.
poe's been through a lot, okay. emotionally. excuse him for feeling joy in his heart!! but now finn is sitting up? rude. he can't just continue where he left off mouth-wise. he's left with no other choice than to sit up, too. and maybe rub his face a little. double-check that it survived the impact. (it's fine.) (also i like how poe is his handsome young ward despite being nine years older.) ]
You're right. Could've broken my face on you. Would've been worth it, but I'm glad I didn't. I like my face.
[ "i like my face." smooth-talker of the year.
but now that he's had time to catch his breath through the laughter and abrupt pause on the making out, it occurs to him to ACTUALLY ASK ]
Is this okay? I know I said slow, but I didn't mean —
[ he biffs that sentence while trying to figure out how to put "slow on the emotions but hard yes to banging" in actual words. it's not as easy as it seems. ]
[ poe is young at heart. a young ward. with a handsome face. finn gives him a look that is 100% like "wow you're right i also like your face what a valid and smooth concern". or something along those lines. finn gives him a sure jan look.
he will show poe real smoothness.
by using his newfound sitting-up powers to throw an elbow back onto the couch while poe is busy biffing that sentence. boom. nailed it. he's a cool guy. the elbow immediately slips back off in his haste to answer that pressing question. ]
Yeah. [ all thirst no chill. welcome to star wars, where we clear our throats to try to rein it in. ] No, yeah, it's-- it's fine. Yeah. It's good.
[ 10/10 across the board. finn makes! a vague hand-flapping gesture. what an icon. ]
I do know the word "stop," so.
[ he also could have just pushed poe off of the couch if he wasn't down for quenchquest, he guesses. but it's poe. and yeah, maybe he's only known him for a few days, but he's pretty sure poe is the type of person who stops making out when the person they're making out with says "stop" or "hang on". he'd put money on those odds. ]
[ like all the dark roasts, the sure jan looks also make him stronger. he absorbs all the skepticism around him and turns it into raw unbridled naruto power.
he doesn't even roast finn back for that smooth elbow move because it was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his entire life. he has interesting standards for beautiful, don't @ him. this is just the epitome of two dudes with no chill trying to be chill and failing. he's all frantic kinetic thirsty energy trying to stay contained in one place. like a soda can that got shaken up and then put back on the shelf.
that said, he doesn't know what to do with his hands or the whole entire rest of himself, either. he readjusts the way he's sitting so that one knee is up. that's what he does. getting comfortable on this floor. or, actually: ]
We don't have to stay on the floor.
[ 😬💦💦💦 smooth words don't fail him now, he was saving them up for this very moment. ]
[ god they're nailing this. two bros, chillin on the floor, the meme song doesn't finish because this is extremely gay.
finn can kinda dig this whole Mood. like he could vibrate out of his skin, but not because of dread or certain doom for once. charged in a good way. a little on the side of reckless. ]
You're right about that. [ poe is truly..... an innovator. and his hair is great. compliments, by finn, who fails to stand up right away. ] Better places to be.
[ it's not like poe rises up either after his helpful suggestion. his mind is already launching into phase two, which is "where do we go next?" he has some serious ambitions about taking it to The Next Level, and he's not sure if now is the right time for exhibitionism kink on the couch. however, there aren't a whole lot of places that aren't just ... exciting new opportunities for exhibitionism kink. not that he cares but he's trying to do the thing where he's considering bae's thoughts and feelings. ]
I dunno anywhere around that's really private. [ not the under construction area, he's not taking a chance on that demon goo being an uninvited participant. not looking for that kind of threeway. ] We could sneak onto the roof, maybe. Or I could have my droid watch outside my room in case my roommate comes back.
[ it's not the right time for exhibitionism on the couch. it wasn't until this very moment that the basic lack of privacy started to get a little annoying for finn. the first order didn't deal much in privacy and there's no such thing as privacy on the falcon as far as he could figure out before all this.
of course, he also hasn't been in the market for good privacy until now either. what a wild ride. ]
If someone's gonna walk in, I'd rather not be somewhere we're not allowed to be. And I know my roommate's around. [ peggy was really chill about hashing out their arrangement, and the arrangement included trading off sleeping hours as long as their schedules let them. finn's not breaking that deal or any rules about where they're allowed to go for the d. not on day 2 anyway, he's got standards. ]
Introduce me to your new droid, Poe Dameron. [ he nudges poe with his foot exclusively to be a shit. and THEN he gets up. is that flirting??? great question, the answer is probably. wait until he tries to do it on purpose. ] Keep the roof on hold in case he's not up for it.
[ has he hashed out the whole situation with his own roommate? nobody knows but he's counting on spyder to ward him off. even if it's just by angrily beeping and going around him in circles while blaring 8-bit phantom of the opera or something.
in any case, he will take the foot nudge as light flirting whether or not it was actually meant to be. and then join finn in getting up. ]
Great! I'd love to. [ i can't believe he's going to take a break from quenchquest 2k18 to talk about his droid. no wait, i totally can. maybe it won't even sound like the rantings of a lunatic trying too hard this time. he'll use this to fill up their time walking. ]
His name's Spyder. He's small and looks like ... well, a spider. He's not as advanced as BB or anything, but he can follow simple commands. He really likes music.
[ the love poe has for his droids is part of his charm. especially when he doesn't sound like a lunatic desperately trying to act normal. he just really exudes giving a shit about things, even things other people would ignore right off the bat. ]
I think you mentioned that before. Some of it. One of your old... teammates made him?
[ i care too much about everything all the time: a poe dameron story. ]
Yeah! We didn't actually talk much, but he left him for me after he transferred. That was really nice, since ... you know. I miss BB-8 a lot. It's nice to have someone around that reminds me of him a little bit.
[ cue to a flashback of poe gently touching a window with a single tear streaming down his cheek while thinking of bb-8. it's been a lot, okay. ]
[ keep bb-8 in your thoughts. he's not dead we just like to remember him. ]
I can catch you up on what BB-8 got into back home sometime. [ well. ] Everything I know about. He wasn't always with us.
[ finn and rose missed out on all the coin-shooting, guard-restraining, ship-stealing action thriller bb-8 was starring in and it's a damn shame. where's that spin-off movie.
it's only a day-ish worth of stuff to offer poe after a few months of droidlessness, but finn's happy to provide what he can. ]
[ it's still weird doing those mental gymnastics. rey reminded him before that even while he's sitting around dramatically pining for his droid, bb-8 wouldn't even miss him because no time would have passed for him. bb-8 hasn't been living an exciting new life for months, he's only being doing stuff without him for like ... a day or something, it seems like. maybe a couple days.
IN ANY CASE, here they are at poe's room. he opens the door and there he be. on the floor, a little robot roughly the size of a shoebox, doing idle circles around the room like a roomba and singing a lil song to itself. he's fuckin precious and anyone who disagrees can meet poe in the pit. ]
So, uh, yeah. That's Spyder. Hey, buddy!
[ it beeps. don't worry finn it's not speaking binary. it literally just said beep. ]
[ he doesn't know binary anyway it's all beeps and whistles to him. what matters is finn is emotionally prepared to die for this droid if he has to. like yeah, sure, he'd die for bb-8 if he had to too, but bb-8 can also actively murder people at will. this is just a little guy doing his thing. murder-free. ]
You weren't kidding about the music. [ if you think he's not gonna get in there and crouch down for a closer look, you're wrong. that's exactly his plan for the foreseeable five seconds future. ] Kind of glad he doesn't have extra legs.
[ free of charge his professional droid assessment opinion, you're welcome. ]
[ mood. poe was also ready to die for this droid five seconds after it was storked to him, so. he kneels down. we're just all gonna get on spyder's level, he probably wants it that way.
his eyes flash green when finn gets closer. that's all it does. amazing. ]
He'd be a real threat then, huh? [ he laughs and sort of pets spyder like a dog. the least surprising action. ] Maybe he'd be able to go over objects then. He can only go around.
Hey, Spyder? [ BEEP. ] Can you watch the door? Beep if anyone tries to get in? [ two beeps. an icon, a legend. that's what poe thinks anyway. ]
[ finn's lived through the great droid tickling of 2017 so it's not even slightly surprising to see this petting in motion. he can't believe he'll have to make sure poe knows he tickles bb-8 in the future. wow. he gives spyder a little wave. that feels like the right etiquette. ]
Rey could probably figure something out. Make it a little easier for him. [ LET SPYDER BLAST SWEENEY TODD FROM THE CEILING WHILE WIELDING THE KNIFE SOMEONE TAPED TO HIS LEG. LET HIM BE TALL.
that's like half of finn's advice for anything ever though. oh i bet [insert friend here] could figure something out, they're great and the best. rey fixed the falcon's engine problems once! he was there! it was amazing. ]
Is that how he says yes or no?
[ he guesses he could have just gotten his answer by seeing if spyder went to the door or not. don't @ him it's a learning curve. it's times like these he misses bb-8's thumbs up.
spyder: a basic ai that communicates with like two eye colors and vague beeps finn: this is clearly even more impossible than speaking regular droid ]
[ let's be real, that probably wasn't even the first time he rubbed bb-8's tummy like a dog. it's not new information!
he gives a small shrug about the rey thing. he doesn't doubt her abilities. they can help spyder when they're not working on their side project-to-be of giving rosie a body. poe and rey are the droid support dream team.
spyder is going to the door now, though, so maybe finn's question is at least partially answered. ]
Huh? [ he's already rising to his feet. ] Oh, yeah. Beeps. It's not binary or anything, more like ... it's usually one beep for yes. Sometimes two if it's a complex thing. No is a long beep. His eyes change color, too. I haven't figured all that out yet, but I think he goes green on things he likes.
[ this is the story of how nobody got laid because poe couldn't stop talking about his toaster oven. ]
[ oh shit yeah there he goes!! groundbreaking, epic, flawless. see you, space cowboy. finn stands up while he's tracking the lil guy's progress out into the world. ]
Let me know when you know for sure. I'm either fine or I've got some work to put in.
[ there was definite green. which seems like more of a good color than a bad color. stormtrooper art class never covered this. but he feels like they can actually trust spyder to be a qualified Beep Really Loud alarm system. so that's like 3 whole tension points out of the equation for him.
don't worry poe. finn hasn't forgotten who he is and so forgotten you. he sits on the bed, like a cool cucumber. living his life. enjoying watching poe being a huge nerd. needless to say he's full of untamed charisma himself and therefore can't relate, so it's very special to him. ]
[ he just snorts. like, spyder is an angel from force heaven, finn is an angel from force heaven, why wouldn't he like him? it's not even an issue.
anyway, he closes the door. that issue is resolved. his droid son has their backs. he turns slowly, giving finn an appreciative once-over (free lip bite included with purchase), and then
rushes the bed and tackles him down onto the bed like another more different part of the lion king. i hope i stop making lion king references soon. ]
Perfect.
[ is that a commentary on finn or how this is better than the couch? or both? on the next episode of unsolved mysteries. ]
[ if this is your way of telling me poe is secretly a furry... it's gonna be a wild hurdle for them to survive but i knew it was coming.
the sheer enthusiasm of the tackle helps balance out the part where finn is tackled, sort of. look. he is a simple creature trying his best in this bitch of a multiverse. and being like... blatantly Liked and Wanted is wild. his sexy tl;dr meme entry wasn't lying, he's building his caring emotional foundations alongside his trying new things with different people foundations. ]
There's room for improvement. [ case in point: get all the way down here and back to the kissing, he will pvp gravity itself if it tries to pull shit again. thank you end of tedtalk. revolutionary. that's his onion anyway. ]
now that he's back in the position he wanted to be (horizontal), he rearranges himself to actually be on the bed because he's not getting punked by gravity again, no sir. he places one hand on finn's chest for leverage on finn and the other hand beside him on the bed for ... leverage on the bed.
he takes a moment to hover over finn's face, grinning his stupid fuckin grin. he's so pleased with himself. and maybe not actually thinking that much. like, yes, he wants to quench his thirst, but also: finn. finn existing? finn making that face when he does things? that face. literally any face. there's something about having that kind of control. no one man should have all that power. ]
I can work on it.
[ he goes back to kissing — back to mouth kissing, pressing in hard. just that much contact was an amazing feeling — something like warm sparks down his spine — but he wants more. there's a kind of hunger there.
and that's why the one hand moves from finn's chest, lowering until it finds the hem. they'll have to break in kissing but this shirt's gotta go. it's for the greater good. ]
[ there's something to be said for poe taking that moment to be extra gay and sappy. the thing to be said is mostly that he's gay and sappy and looking way too self-satisfied. honestly.
finn thinks his future probabilities are divided up into either getting used to the stupid grin or poe cutting back on stupid grins, and he knows which one is safer to put his money on.
he's what the kids call a potent combo of excited and nervous. he went full hermione granger with the educational materials and that was pretty great to get a feel for anything that wasn't Super Basic. pamphlets can't prepare you for the irl experience. and scoob we're gonna swooce right in there. the couch couldn't stop us. gonna see what happens and make some choices on the fly, basically, bc the mood of the morning is to have something happen in life that's nice and not life-threatening and not super weird.
and poe is nice, and they're not getting shot at, and they had a conversation about the weirdness that means finn can put it on the back burner to think about some other time.
so right now he's thinking he agrees. shirts are dumb and get in the way. this is obviously a sacrifice worth making for the greater good. his plan is to also get poe's shirt out of the way for Equality, but the first step is getting his hands under it, and then he's kinda like "! Y E E T" once he gets to step one. no shirt is powerful enough to stop him because the hands-on experience is wild.
give him like five seconds. you know to really make sure step one is underway. thoroughly. what if he touches people forever, that sounds viable. ]
[ he's still like go go go yeet x 1000 about getting this shirt off, but then finn decides he wants to turn this into a shirt removal competition. he'll let him have it. a: finn deserves everything, and b: he gave him the jacket off his back (and the rest of his wardrobe, why not let him remove some of it. all of it. whatever.
but then when finn's hand gets under his own and just dead-ass stops, he also stops and tilts his head a little bit. second one passes with "what is he doing?" and then second two is "oh he's taking a free sample."
the stupid grin's back at it again. (like he ever truly stopped.) there's a slight eyebrow raise, too. ]
There's more where that came from if you get the shirt off.
[ poe's noble loss of the shirt race was almost in vain. i'd like to say finn is embarrassed but he's also kinda like whatever we already forgot to account for gravity earlier.
...
so you know. mildly offended by poe's audacity for calling him out. which is like an eggshell-thin step away from being a little embarrassed. even though his hands walked him right into that one and it was very clearly labeled dead dove do not eat. ]
Is that just friendly advice? [ gosh honestly!! cutting into his skin appreciation moment by helping him remember his plan to stop having to deal with clothes!
the wonder is not ruined because it's very concept-based, but finn will still obligingly get poe's shirt out of this equation now. for medical science.
it's literally better this way. shirts are dumb again. ]
[ again: is there really any room for embarrassment after couchgate 2k18. that was poe's smooth move and he's clearly over it. he's a wobbling weeble about shame though, so maybe that's just him.
also: why do the ones you love exist if not for exclusive roasting privileges. ]
Little more than friendly.
[ once his own shirt is off, he will get back to what he was doing and return the favor. just fling that mofo off like he's in a competition for fastest shirt removal (that he clearly already won.) at which point he too can appreciate the fruits of his labors. like, damn, okay. is every day core and arm day in the stormtrooper finishing school for boys?? what a snacc. his master plan is to work his way down to the pants, but first he's going to slowly take his time sort of groping down finn's sides. this is why hands exist. ]
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HOWEVER — when he shoved finn down onto the couch for a better, more horizontal make out angle, he didn't exactly ... fully reorient himself to be on the couch. he went from sitting to getting one leg vaguely on the couch. the more he gets into having A Good Time, the less attention he pays to trying to use the rest of his body for staying up on this couch. five seconds later, they're no longer taking up valuable couch space but valuable floor space. sideways, like gravity wanted a nala-simba rollover situation but got tired in the middle.
his face ends up smashed against finn's neck at an awkward angle. it takes him a second to fully register what just happened to him. it all happened so fast, okay. but when it clicks, he just laughs. laughing hysterically while still smashed against finn's neck. what else can you do, okay. it was funny! they made out so hard they fell off the couch. that's some high school bullshit that never happened to him because growing up on yavin 4 was probably like growing up in the middle of the woods. ]
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scratch that, the floor isn't quality. the floor is hard and was not invited to this party. gravity kicked open the door like that guy from seinfeld and HERE WE FUCKIN ARE. it also takes finn a second to kinda catch up with this turn in events. his conclusion is mostly "ah we're on the floor now" bc he wasn't paying attention to poe's leg situation, like a fool. micromanaging could have saved them rip i can't believe this is how they died. yeeting off of a couch.
poe can have his laughfest. laugh it up!!!!!! no really finn doesn't have salt about this, it's a nice laugh. he doesn't have hysterical-level in him personally rn, but he can appreciate exactly how dumb this is and cash in on some chuckling. ]
I bet that could've been worse.
[ no one is trying to shoot them. they've succeeded, if you really think about it. this might be the most optimistic thought finn's had all day. finn shoves his handsome young ward a little so he can sit up. floor rules 2k18 it's basically the hunger games down here. ]
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poe's been through a lot, okay. emotionally. excuse him for feeling joy in his heart!! but now finn is sitting up? rude. he can't just continue where he left off mouth-wise. he's left with no other choice than to sit up, too. and maybe rub his face a little. double-check that it survived the impact. (it's fine.) (also i like how poe is his handsome young ward despite being nine years older.) ]
You're right. Could've broken my face on you. Would've been worth it, but I'm glad I didn't. I like my face.
[ "i like my face." smooth-talker of the year.
but now that he's had time to catch his breath through the laughter and abrupt pause on the making out, it occurs to him to ACTUALLY ASK ]
Is this okay? I know I said slow, but I didn't mean —
[ he biffs that sentence while trying to figure out how to put "slow on the emotions but hard yes to banging" in actual words. it's not as easy as it seems. ]
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he will show poe real smoothness.
by using his newfound sitting-up powers to throw an elbow back onto the couch while poe is busy biffing that sentence. boom. nailed it. he's a cool guy. the elbow immediately slips back off in his haste to answer that pressing question. ]
Yeah. [ all thirst no chill. welcome to star wars, where we clear our throats to try to rein it in. ] No, yeah, it's-- it's fine. Yeah. It's good.
[ 10/10 across the board. finn makes! a vague hand-flapping gesture. what an icon. ]
I do know the word "stop," so.
[ he also could have just pushed poe off of the couch if he wasn't down for quenchquest, he guesses. but it's poe. and yeah, maybe he's only known him for a few days, but he's pretty sure poe is the type of person who stops making out when the person they're making out with says "stop" or "hang on". he'd put money on those odds. ]
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he doesn't even roast finn back for that smooth elbow move because it was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his entire life. he has interesting standards for beautiful, don't @ him. this is just the epitome of two dudes with no chill trying to be chill and failing. he's all frantic kinetic thirsty energy trying to stay contained in one place. like a soda can that got shaken up and then put back on the shelf.
that said, he doesn't know what to do with his hands or the whole entire rest of himself, either. he readjusts the way he's sitting so that one knee is up. that's what he does. getting comfortable on this floor. or, actually: ]
We don't have to stay on the floor.
[ 😬💦💦💦 smooth words don't fail him now, he was saving them up for this very moment. ]
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finn can kinda dig this whole Mood. like he could vibrate out of his skin, but not because of dread or certain doom for once. charged in a good way. a little on the side of reckless. ]
You're right about that. [ poe is truly..... an innovator. and his hair is great. compliments, by finn, who fails to stand up right away. ] Better places to be.
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I dunno anywhere around that's really private. [ not the under construction area, he's not taking a chance on that demon goo being an uninvited participant. not looking for that kind of threeway. ] We could sneak onto the roof, maybe. Or I could have my droid watch outside my room in case my roommate comes back.
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of course, he also hasn't been in the market for good privacy until now either. what a wild ride. ]
If someone's gonna walk in, I'd rather not be somewhere we're not allowed to be. And I know my roommate's around. [ peggy was really chill about hashing out their arrangement, and the arrangement included trading off sleeping hours as long as their schedules let them. finn's not breaking that deal or any rules about where they're allowed to go for the d. not on day 2 anyway, he's got standards. ]
Introduce me to your new droid, Poe Dameron. [ he nudges poe with his foot exclusively to be a shit. and THEN he gets up. is that flirting??? great question, the answer is probably. wait until he tries to do it on purpose. ] Keep the roof on hold in case he's not up for it.
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in any case, he will take the foot nudge as light flirting whether or not it was actually meant to be. and then join finn in getting up. ]
Great! I'd love to. [ i can't believe he's going to take a break from quenchquest 2k18 to talk about his droid. no wait, i totally can. maybe it won't even sound like the rantings of a lunatic trying too hard this time. he'll use this to fill up their time walking. ]
His name's Spyder. He's small and looks like ... well, a spider. He's not as advanced as BB or anything, but he can follow simple commands. He really likes music.
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I think you mentioned that before. Some of it. One of your old... teammates made him?
[ star wars: the attention span awakens. ]
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Yeah! We didn't actually talk much, but he left him for me after he transferred. That was really nice, since ... you know. I miss BB-8 a lot. It's nice to have someone around that reminds me of him a little bit.
[ cue to a flashback of poe gently touching a window with a single tear streaming down his cheek while thinking of bb-8. it's been a lot, okay. ]
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I can catch you up on what BB-8 got into back home sometime. [ well. ] Everything I know about. He wasn't always with us.
[ finn and rose missed out on all the coin-shooting, guard-restraining, ship-stealing action thriller bb-8 was starring in and it's a damn shame. where's that spin-off movie.
it's only a day-ish worth of stuff to offer poe after a few months of droidlessness, but finn's happy to provide what he can. ]
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[ it's still weird doing those mental gymnastics. rey reminded him before that even while he's sitting around dramatically pining for his droid, bb-8 wouldn't even miss him because no time would have passed for him. bb-8 hasn't been living an exciting new life for months, he's only being doing stuff without him for like ... a day or something, it seems like. maybe a couple days.
IN ANY CASE, here they are at poe's room. he opens the door and there he be. on the floor, a little robot roughly the size of a shoebox, doing idle circles around the room like a roomba and singing a lil song to itself. he's fuckin precious and anyone who disagrees can meet poe in the pit. ]
So, uh, yeah. That's Spyder. Hey, buddy!
[ it beeps. don't worry finn it's not speaking binary. it literally just said beep. ]
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You weren't kidding about the music. [ if you think he's not gonna get in there and crouch down for a closer look, you're wrong. that's exactly his plan for the foreseeable five seconds future. ] Kind of glad he doesn't have extra legs.
[ free of charge his professional droid assessment opinion, you're welcome. ]
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his eyes flash green when finn gets closer. that's all it does. amazing. ]
He'd be a real threat then, huh? [ he laughs and sort of pets spyder like a dog. the least surprising action. ] Maybe he'd be able to go over objects then. He can only go around.
Hey, Spyder? [ BEEP. ] Can you watch the door? Beep if anyone tries to get in? [ two beeps. an icon, a legend. that's what poe thinks anyway. ]
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Rey could probably figure something out. Make it a little easier for him. [ LET SPYDER BLAST SWEENEY TODD FROM THE CEILING WHILE WIELDING THE KNIFE SOMEONE TAPED TO HIS LEG. LET HIM BE TALL.
that's like half of finn's advice for anything ever though. oh i bet [insert friend here] could figure something out, they're great and the best. rey fixed the falcon's engine problems once! he was there! it was amazing. ]
Is that how he says yes or no?
[ he guesses he could have just gotten his answer by seeing if spyder went to the door or not. don't @ him it's a learning curve. it's times like these he misses bb-8's thumbs up.
spyder: a basic ai that communicates with like two eye colors and vague beeps
finn: this is clearly even more impossible than speaking regular droid ]
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he gives a small shrug about the rey thing. he doesn't doubt her abilities. they can help spyder when they're not working on their side project-to-be of giving rosie a body. poe and rey are the droid support dream team.
spyder is going to the door now, though, so maybe finn's question is at least partially answered. ]
Huh? [ he's already rising to his feet. ] Oh, yeah. Beeps. It's not binary or anything, more like ... it's usually one beep for yes. Sometimes two if it's a complex thing. No is a long beep. His eyes change color, too. I haven't figured all that out yet, but I think he goes green on things he likes.
[ this is the story of how nobody got laid because poe couldn't stop talking about his toaster oven. ]
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Let me know when you know for sure. I'm either fine or I've got some work to put in.
[ there was definite green. which seems like more of a good color than a bad color. stormtrooper art class never covered this. but he feels like they can actually trust spyder to be a qualified Beep Really Loud alarm system. so that's like 3 whole tension points out of the equation for him.
don't worry poe. finn hasn't forgotten who he is and so forgotten you. he sits on the bed, like a cool cucumber. living his life. enjoying watching poe being a huge nerd. needless to say he's full of untamed charisma himself and therefore can't relate, so it's very special to him. ]
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anyway, he closes the door. that issue is resolved. his droid son has their backs. he turns slowly, giving finn an appreciative once-over (free lip bite included with purchase), and then
rushes the bed and tackles him down onto the bed like another more different part of the lion king. i hope i stop making lion king references soon. ]
Perfect.
[ is that a commentary on finn or how this is better than the couch? or both? on the next episode of unsolved mysteries. ]
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the sheer enthusiasm of the tackle helps balance out the part where finn is tackled, sort of. look. he is a simple creature trying his best in this bitch of a multiverse. and being like... blatantly Liked and Wanted is wild. his sexy tl;dr meme entry wasn't lying, he's building his caring emotional foundations alongside his trying new things with different people foundations. ]
There's room for improvement. [ case in point: get all the way down here and back to the kissing, he will pvp gravity itself if it tries to pull shit again. thank you end of tedtalk. revolutionary. that's his onion anyway. ]
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now that he's back in the position he wanted to be (horizontal), he rearranges himself to actually be on the bed because he's not getting punked by gravity again, no sir. he places one hand on finn's chest for leverage on finn and the other hand beside him on the bed for ... leverage on the bed.
he takes a moment to hover over finn's face, grinning his stupid fuckin grin. he's so pleased with himself. and maybe not actually thinking that much. like, yes, he wants to quench his thirst, but also: finn. finn existing? finn making that face when he does things? that face. literally any face. there's something about having that kind of control. no one man should have all that power. ]
I can work on it.
[ he goes back to kissing — back to mouth kissing, pressing in hard. just that much contact was an amazing feeling — something like warm sparks down his spine — but he wants more. there's a kind of hunger there.
and that's why the one hand moves from finn's chest, lowering until it finds the hem. they'll have to break in kissing but this shirt's gotta go. it's for the greater good. ]
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finn thinks his future probabilities are divided up into either getting used to the stupid grin or poe cutting back on stupid grins, and he knows which one is safer to put his money on.
he's what the kids call a potent combo of excited and nervous. he went full hermione granger with the educational materials and that was pretty great to get a feel for anything that wasn't Super Basic. pamphlets can't prepare you for the irl experience. and scoob we're gonna swooce right in there. the couch couldn't stop us. gonna see what happens and make some choices on the fly, basically, bc the mood of the morning is to have something happen in life that's nice and not life-threatening and not super weird.
and poe is nice, and they're not getting shot at, and they had a conversation about the weirdness that means finn can put it on the back burner to think about some other time.
so right now he's thinking he agrees. shirts are dumb and get in the way. this is obviously a sacrifice worth making for the greater good. his plan is to also get poe's shirt out of the way for Equality, but the first step is getting his hands under it, and then he's kinda like "! Y E E T" once he gets to step one. no shirt is powerful enough to stop him because the hands-on experience is wild.
give him like five seconds. you know to really make sure step one is underway. thoroughly. what if he touches people forever, that sounds viable. ]
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but then when finn's hand gets under his own and just dead-ass stops, he also stops and tilts his head a little bit. second one passes with "what is he doing?" and then second two is "oh he's taking a free sample."
the stupid grin's back at it again. (like he ever truly stopped.) there's a slight eyebrow raise, too. ]
There's more where that came from if you get the shirt off.
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...
so you know. mildly offended by poe's audacity for calling him out. which is like an eggshell-thin step away from being a little embarrassed. even though his hands walked him right into that one and it was very clearly labeled dead dove do not eat. ]
Is that just friendly advice? [ gosh honestly!! cutting into his skin appreciation moment by helping him remember his plan to stop having to deal with clothes!
the wonder is not ruined because it's very concept-based, but finn will still obligingly get poe's shirt out of this equation now. for medical science.
it's literally better this way. shirts are dumb again. ]
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also: why do the ones you love exist if not for exclusive roasting privileges. ]
Little more than friendly.
[ once his own shirt is off, he will get back to what he was doing and return the favor. just fling that mofo off like he's in a competition for fastest shirt removal (that he clearly already won.) at which point he too can appreciate the fruits of his labors. like, damn, okay. is every day core and arm day in the stormtrooper finishing school for boys?? what a snacc. his master plan is to work his way down to the pants, but first he's going to slowly take his time sort of groping down finn's sides. this is why hands exist. ]
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