[ he manages to laugh at the joke like a normal person and not like a person trying too hard, so that's some progress on his part. he's probably not wearing his boots either honestly. who on fuckin sex island is going to call him out for not wearing shoes after a beach party? no one. meet him in the pit. ]
Don't worry about it.
[ he smiles like aw yeah this is normal. a normal conversation. they're doing so well.
time to ruin it!!! ]
I wanted to talk to you about some stuff that happened with Hathaway. Where me and Rey were before. [ and you. and kylo ren. the whole family. ] With you. I should have said something last night, but ... I dunno. It was a lot. It's a lot. But if I don't tell you now, it's just gonna be worse if it comes up later. You know what I mean?
[ when you have to bodily resist the urge to ask your bro yet again if he's okay. it's finn's best impulse control in days but at what cost. ]
Yeah, actually. [ see uhhhh. "i'm not resistance i'm a stormtrooper" and "oh my god you're really just stealing an escape pod and running away". it turns out honesty is the best policy most of the time. wild.
finn pulls up a seat. the hathaway stuff is still the weirdest part of this entire experience, and that's saying something. maybe he'll come out of this understanding more about it?? maybe it will provide material for staving off the existential crisis. ]
[ he takes a breath. okay. this is. gonna be fine. (spyder should be here. where is his emotional support droid when he needs it the most?) ]
So. Um. Most of the time we were there, we were in a relationship. You and me. [ exhale. ] I don't want you to feel like -- we rushed into it. [ poe and finn??? rushing into things????? sounds fake. ] And it kind of ... we had a fight. Sort of. Me and Rey had a fight and you were there. But after that, you left. And I don't know if it was because they just made you transfer and it was bad timing or if it was because of me. [ what if he throws up right now. ]
[ you know what. he's glad he sat down. congratulations to him on his good call.
finn takes the appropriate amount of time to absorb this info. it's not exactly sponge-to-water easy to absorb. sort of like cheap paper towels level. he gets there.
we're not gonna pretend he hasn't at some point even considered the poe thing as a Possibility. he's free, emotionally thirsty, and he only knows three people. he hasn't planned out all of his weddings to them but i mean, it was a nice thing to get to think about for once. so nothing about this sounds like. impossible. probably especially not the rushing in part.
just unexpected.
poe might be trying to get some closure or something. finn guesses he'd do the same thing, if the situations were reversed. maybe. it's weird to think about. it's all weird to think about, because this other finn is him but he's not... him. he's like a whole other person. other stuff happened to him.
he could think about how this directly means at some point poe had a clear and present interest instead??? sounds fake?? not sure how a person navigates that. finn's not dealing with any of these trains of thought. he's walking home.
things make more sense and less sense now, not just about how poe was acting but how rey was acting, too. ]
I mean, it would have to be one hell of a fight, Poe.
[ his tone says something along the lines of "you would literally have to murder rey or vice-versa".
he just can't wrap his mind around the idea of leaving behind not only a... relationship he guesses, but rey and poe both, simultaneously. least of all in some other galaxy cut off from home? one that sounds like it was sometimes really dangerous.
the whole concept disagrees with him. maybe it's the lack of time talking. his full yeet instinct. he doesn't know. he only knows the version of himself that he actually is.
trying to peace out on the resistance was one thing. he character developed away from that. ]
[ he snorts. that is his initial reaction. because whew, he got that off his chest and finn wasn't like "cool story bro but in this timeline i think you're garbage, die." in what scenario would that be his reaction?? POE DOESN'T KNOW but he sure has spent a couple weeks dwelling on the hypothetical reasons finn packed his lil suitcase and said you'll never see this face again.
he even gave him a nice lead to his Thrawn Story. the one he didn't get to tell that's just been sitting in his diary for that same amount of weeks. ]
It was. Not because ... it was just loud. Rey was on something, like the dinner last night. Except it made her angry.
[ he lets that information sit there for a second before fumbling right along into ]
You know the different timelines thing? How we're both here but you're ... my future, I guess? There was an Imperial solider in Hathaway with us. I worked really closely with him. We didn't really have any other choice. We never talked about home, just life stuff. And I don't think he was that bad. I don't think he was all good, but I think he could have been better if things had been different.
[ i'm crying what a day that would be. "must have been because of you and for a reason i trust myself fuck u".
regardless of everything, deets vol. 2 is still better than having poe look at him like, "so hux was there and you know what he's actually very sympathetic i think he could have been an okay dude in another life" or "hung out with phasma, not as awful as i thought it would be" or something. it's easier to separate imperial officer out from the first order. the first order is like that. yeah we use the empire's aesthetic and motives and strategies and weapons and goals but we're Totally Not Them We're Better Guys. ]
And she was mad. [ okay. okay, he thinks he's following this better than part 1. ] Did something happen, or...?
[ ? should he assess this part as a whole thing or should he reserve judgement for the third part of a trilogy. was rey mad about it already or was the 'on something' a huge factor. because all that could probably make a big difference.
oh wait note to self whoever drugged rey should be hung by their thumbs. he hopes whoever did it got hung by the thumbs.
poe: so here are the deets finn, immediately: i lied i don't get it hold on ]
Way after he first showed up, Rey was freaking out about him. She thought he wanted to change the timeline so that the Empire won. And she wanted information to use against him.
[ it's at this point that 20/20 hindsight hits him like a blaster straight through his head. thrawn said that rey and kylo ren would use the information against him. not rey.
rey
and
kylo ren.
he found out. he found out what poe found out several weeks later and then was in denial about for several weeks more. he didn't see it at first, but now he does. thrawn figured out their dl relationship. or … whatever it was. that's why rey was so intense about taking him down. about having information to use against him. not because he wanted to change the timeline. it was because thrawn had dirt on her (and kylo bag of dicks ren.)
damn.
that doesn't change the telling of the story, but it does color his perception of it in retrospect. ]
So I told her something. I told her something he told me in confidence. But then I felt bad about it. It didn't feel right. So I told him I told her. [ he exhales a little sigh thinking of that series of events. that sure was a good way to make everyone hate him. memories. ]
He told me never to talk to him again, so it's not — it wasn't like that. Rey figured out I went back to him, and she was furious. Even more furious than normal, 'cause of the thing. This was when everything happened. She got mad at me for trying to protect him. She was yelling at me about taking his side, being manipulated by him, all this stuff. Force threw me, there was a lightsaber ... You were there for that. Other you.
[ his mouth slants sideways thinking about it. he still doesn't think he was wrong about thrawn and he'll meet anyone in the pit who tries to fight him on it. even rey. back on down into the pit. ]
But it wasn't like that. I wasn't taking anybody's side. I wanted to do what was right to me. Sure wasn't making friends either way doing it. But sometimes you have to make choices like that, where's it's not anybody's side, you know? It's just you.
[ oh. damn. he's seeing the shitshow part of the shitshow now, yeah. donna noble has put down her popcorn.
finn doesn't try to interrupt. there are probably a few moments where he looks like he might but he commits to getting the full package. in a non porny way. he takes his time.
so poe "one trust" dameron works with this soldier. thinks okay he's not like GOOD, he's imperial, but he's not awful. gets to know him. rey "pragmatist jedi in training" lastname is thinking galactic security and leverage. poe breaks the trust cheeto code trying to help her out, but that's moral tarpit stuff and he's not into it. tells the guy he broke the cheeto. doesn't get a new one. rey finds out he told the guy, and she's roiding out and hulk smashes him.
the other finn is there?? presumably trying to prevent murders? that's kind of where he would be leaning.
and then you know, he guesses he disappears to another team because of a transfer or something. super close on the tail of that. without a word. finn can't figure why he'd do that on purpose still, so he's leaning toward unplanned and not his choice probably. that's his guess. he sees why it was a whole Thing now.
it's a big thing of communicating and not communicating and things breaking bad. no wonder they've been so weird redux. it seems like poe and rey maybe have it worked out? between themselves? unsure.
this is the complex morality tlj tried to accomplish. but uhhhhh hoo boy alright one thing at a time. at least one of these things he can relate to and address. finn leans forward enough to put his elbows on his knees. like a very dignified man, he clasps his hands and sorta looks down at his bootless feet for all of two seconds.
vulnerability is something not to be taken lightly. it means a lot to poe to explain all this, and his reasoning. finn respects that. ]
You know, I didn't exactly leave the First Order because I wanted to be a rebel. [ honesty for honesty. he sort of tried to explain that to poe pre-re-jacketing. he remembers. hell, maybe other finn got into it while they were hanging in hathaway. no way of knowing. ] No war. No side. I just didn't wanna kill people for them. That's all I had in mind.
[ tfa and tlj were the real mvps on that one thanks guys. he loves his new anime resolve. anyway he kinda gets it. is what he means. im doing this on mobile like an animal while my laptop updates im out of good words. ]
And I don't know if you noticed, but I was a stormtrooper when we met, so. Pretty sure this isn't gonna run me out of town.
[ if poe hadn't had one trust for him then, they'd be dead. he can't get mad that poe is a nice dude. he can't get mad that rey was thinking leverage over murder. all sounds kosher???? he's seen the end of the movie they all spent fucking up, he's gotta think about Tomorrow. ]
[ yeah other finn's big mood was "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING STOP TRYING TO KILL EVERYONE REY" with a side of listening to rey and "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT" because poe was too busy being hulk smashed to create a cohesive narrative. so yeah, he was not feeling Loved and Supported on that particular day.
and then finn left. he and rey made up because they were sad and lonely and ~all they had was each other~ after finn left and … kylo ren broke up with her that day. a different day. that issue was resolved.
but then there was finn. he didn't believe he was wrong, wouldn't, but he still didn't want to lose finn in the process. there was just a lot of conflict there inside him. a big knotted fucked up ball of conflict. that he carried around for multiple weeks. and was determined to keep carrying, because if he didn't have to talk about it, he didn't have to receive confirmation that he was right and that he had yeeted straight into a dealbreaker.
he breathes. just takes a second breathing there. breathing because he said it, he got to say it without rey screaming bloody murder at him, and everything is still somehow fine.
he almost even sort of smiles, because finn is right. he'd had that thought himself. he trusted finn when he didn't really have a reason to, and he'd been right about finn. he could see the goodness in people, and he didn't tend to be wrong.
and now, when finn is explaining that he didn't leave the first order to be a rebel, he understands. maybe he kind of always knew it. he immediately called finn out on him not helping him because it was The Right Thing to Do. maybe he just wanted to believe that of finn anyway. and he wanted finn to feel like he belonged with the resistance, that he was part of something. believing he was on board with The Ideals made that easier.
if he didn't get it before, he gets it now. people aren't usually drawn in by the Ideals of one side versus the other. it's the little things. leia meant more to him than the resistance did. holdo told him to clean a bedpan if he wanted to serve a princess and he mutinied in the name of Preserving Her Vision, so. he knew that much about himself. that was his base need.
finn wanted to run. that was his. and that was what it was. no judgment. ]
I know. Or — it makes sense, anyway. I get it.
[ he looks up and manages a small smile. it went from sort of to actual. ]
I never told anyone. It doesn't really matter anymore, I guess. He's not here. But he told me his incentive, the whole reason he was with Hathaway, wasn't about the Empire at all. I think it was about a person. So I still don't think I'm wrong. I don't think stuff like that's that simple anymore, you know? The things we all do. It's not really black and white. It's all small stuff.
Edited (an important distinction) 2018-06-19 11:28 (UTC)
[ this thread is a big fat "hit me with that gay communication shit".
and yeah, finn's shoulders definitely relax a little at the i get it. poe was sort of the only one of his friends who never got around to or had time to absorb how finn's old playlist had Run Away With Me played on loop about 500 times.
finn cares what people think about him when they're his friends. he cares what poe thinks about him. so it's good not to have him not get mad or visibly disappointed but trying to hide it or something? finn went in there for the empathizing but he was kinda ready to be sad about the worst possible outcome.
bc you know, disaster culture is sitting there a minute ago like "it would take basically literally murdering my best friend for me to ditch you probably" and still being like "so anyway i understand if you decide i'm a liar and a coward and have to ditch me for this". and we know it's disaster culture because that's what both of these men are doing today. ]
I think I get what you mean. [ just look at dj. he did some okay things even though he's ultimately a very shitty person. or lando, who did an unfortunate thing but ultimately is a very good person. finn probably doesn't know much about lando as a person i just like lando a lot. the fact is life is complicated and it turns out nothing is easy.
finn is kind of ready for this war to end not just because it must be wild not having a war going on, but also because maybe then life can be a little more about simple stuff. ] Nice way to put it even if I don't.
[ there, even if it turns out he's a fuckin idiot at least poe knows it sounded nice i guess. ]
[ it's true, this entire thread is disaster culture. just two different but likewise disasters slowly orbiting around each other. and lando calrissian is an important person; i'm sure he gets his own day in stormtrooper school. because i also like him and that's what's important.
anyway — he thinks of trying to clarify. if it even matters that much if he does. ]
It's just — we all care about these little things, right? That's what's important. Like when you woke up after Starkiller Base. You didn't — you asked about Rey, right? That was what was important to you. [ if he doesn't point out he just did the exact same thing with leia, no one can roast his soft spots. ] I don't know, that's just what I think.
[ he's not a philosopher, but he tried his best. this is like the third draft of this thought that started out as "everything's always about something else," so. some kind of progress was made.
in other progress-related news: he reaches to put his hand over finn's. for someone who usually full-tilt yeets into any action, there's something slow and deliberate about it. maybe a little hesitant. he's still wrapping his head around finn not ~running away because of him~, due to firmly Deciding that was what had happened.
but now that that's over — his soul is cleansed, his crops are watered — where does that leave him with finn? this finn? is it weird? bad? only one way to find out, starting with the anti-yeet. which is soft thoughtful action, i guess. ]
[ lando's day in stormtrooper school is just the burn book entry regina george made for herself bc of how good he is. i can't believe it.
man finn will have to roast poe for the leia thing one day because poe doesn't remember "you're alive!!!! where's my droid" yet. or like, he never will. timelines?? finn isn't sure, he's just trying to take this one thing at a time. it's only been a day so far, so it's working out. ]
Well, I don't think you're wrong. For what it's worth.
[ it makes sense. the little things being big things, sort of. being finn was worth running for. rey was worth fighting for. causes and armies are small potatoes on the scale against Three Friends And A Soccer Ball.
shoutout to poe for rocketing this thread to r-18 by indulging finn's hand holding kink softly and thoughtfully. wow. but in all seriousness, it's a cold day in hell when finn finds a gesture like this intolerable. he likes!!!! to touch hands!!! so he'll drop his other hand on top of poe's and make it into a temporary hand sandwich. he's probably doing this with platonic supportiveness in mind, realistically, but he's dumb and also trying not to make things... weirder. he doesn't want poe to feel like he has to keep pretending to be driftwood to avoid him? there weren't pamphlets for this part of multiverse shenanigans.
the countdown to finn realizing that poe has in all likelihood not only made out with him but seen him naked in a personal context, or A Him who he assumes looks exactly the same, is on. finn deadass hasn't even gotten there on his "one thing at a time" docket yet. still not totally sure what his plan of action is once he does tho. like. ???? who knows. ]
[ he already knew leia was alive after the droid incident, his priorities shifted!! but still. he is pretty firm in his priorities. like, 1. leia 2. bb-8 3. finn probably ????? everyone else somewhere way down at the bottom of the list. maybe rey is like number 4 now.
ah yes. the hands. he knew this would probably happen lbr but was still bracing for an Alternate Timeline where finn idk ripped off his hand instead. luckily, that timeline didn't happen. his hopes and dreams were right all along, like always.
also: to be fair, as poe will probably have to share someday, MAYBE even today ... not a lot happened in his relationship with other finn. in that department. he tried to initiate things, finn freaked out, there were handjobs like once, and then a lot of sexual frustration after. you may think poe is dramatically chasing after something long gone, but he's really just gently trying to break open a cactus after being tortured by thirst. that said at the very least he has done both of those things. those were the last drops of water in his canteen before the great thirst. ]
I still like you. [ time to skip over philosophy and go headfirst into the emotional yeet. but also: not diving straight for the l-word anymore. he has a whole new chance not to fuck this up and he's going to exercise!!! caution!!! for once. ] Just so you know. I don't know how anybody's gonna actually have a relationship here, with the way things are. And maybe it'll be weird to you, because I knew a different you. I get that. But I'm here. For, uh, anything. Whatever you want. However you want it.
[ when you're trying to break open the cactus but also worried that the cactus might hate you because it thinks you were looking for another catcus. what is this metaphor? i don't know anymore. ]
[ i'm going right back to donna noble with popcorn dot gif and i'm making an 8-bit video game for poe's thirst quest.
finn sure as hell thinks about this. it's sort of the best option, because in meme terms, one kermit is going "YEET" and the other kermit is going "YOU'LL FUCK IT UP" and it's unclear which one is which at this juncture.
like i said. it's not like he never thought about this concept. you know, ran the hypotheticals. considered poe's face. the fact that he didn't know what real, good hope felt like until he heard the words "i can fly anything". (be a disaster and a little bit in love with everyone you almost die with. why waste daylight going one at a time.) ]
It's pretty weird. [ he's not gonna lie about it. but the thing is, he's not sure there's really a way for either of them to win on that in this situation. he's finn. the other finn is also finn. they're the same person. it's just that he's been in their galaxy up until now and in some other universe he got roped into this hathaway place at some point. apparently.
poe's not thirsting after some au finn he met who was never a stormtrooper and willing to latch onto whatever other finn he can pull. it's maybe not fair to suggest this is some swap-out thing. he thinks that might be putting his hangups with being expendable into someone else's mouth. even if it is weird. it's weird for other reasons too. equality. it's not the type of person poe is, the same as it's not the type of person rey is.
there are like five things finn wants to say, and picking a place to start is hard. ]
You said you rushed into it. Before.
[ not accusing. more of an okay lemme start wrapping both of the kermits around this. ]
[ oh no. he should have anticipated this, but he did not. the part where he actually has to talk about ... how relationship attempt one went.
rey is in his head like "he said he liked you the first time why would that be different????" but he's in his own head like "consider: i'm a human disaster." still waiting for that yeet out.
also rey in his head: "YOU SHOULD TELL HIM EVERYTHING HE DESERVES TO KNOW!!" also poe in his own head: "yeah okay but what if i left some details out bc of how fuckin stupid i am. what if we did that huh." ]
I felt that way before we showed up, you know? Before anything happened. So don't think ... it wasn't anything special that happened in Hathaway.
[ he groans internally. two paths diverged in a yellow wood: one is lying about how stupid you are and the other is admitting how stupid you are even though you JUST DECIDED not to admit how stupid you are. those are the paths. a poem by bobby frost. ]
So. Uh. After ... I don't know, a week, maybe two weeks, I told you I loved you. [ does finn need social context for that? probably. ] People don't usually do that. You're supposed to wait. I still -- I don't not. But I should have waited.
[ how does he put this into words. he is not a smart man. he's not bobby frost. ]
It was nice. It was good. We were on missions most of the time, so we never really -- we didn't spend that much time together. There wasn't any hard stuff. But I think I should have waited because ... well, after the whole thing. After you left. I freaked out because I thought you left because you got to know me and didn't like what was there. And if we -- if I waited, maybe that wouldn't have happened.
[ finn, who is willing to die for people within the span of a day and honestly can't judge, is kind of glad poe didn't bust in here with the love word. because it's nice and it's a good thing and poe is a good person but they also haven't even gotten up to the one or two week point. there are a lot of unfortunate memes out there that had high chances of becoming reality just on reflex. he's not even 100% if that's what rose was going for or if she was delirious from Wounds and millions of people in theaters had to watch his confusion in real time.
also he can super see how the math is adding up on that post-fight freakout and the whole deal now?? if he yeeted straight into love confessions after a week and then the bae vanished after a big, confusing fight... he would also just assume it means he wasn't good enough and they didn't like what they saw. that's valid. he's literally afraid of that shoe dropping in all of his relationships right now. ]
At least we covered that already. [ poe is a shining star. and finn brand loyalty doesn't break on most impacts. ] I'm, uh. I'm not gonna say I'm surprised to hear that you come on strong. I got raised to march down ramps firing a blaster, and even I don't think you're subtle.
[ hello yes i do believe i have a fresh roast ordered for a poe dameron??? the barista drew a lil heart on the cup.
finn bites the inside of his cheek. ]
I'd be interested. I mean, I am. Interested. That's probably a good place to start. Sorry, I wasn't trying to-- I don't know, leave you hanging. About that.
[ if he knows for sure that poe is into this and he knows for sure that he's interested, he sees no reason not to give it a small-scale yeet? otherwise it's them both being interested and chilling in a hot tub, holding hands, possibly banging, trying to act like there's not a thing there.
so he knows this is a platform he can work from regardless of where this rolling stone stops gathering moss. if they take a whole journey to "maybe let's not" somehow, at least they'll both have it out on the table.
welcome to star wars, the only ones good at talking about their emotions are dead people and chewie. ]
[ i'm going to quote myself from a different tag: alice in wonderland believed in six impossible things before breakfast, poe in hathaway received six dark roasts before breakfast. he is so used to being roasted now. it's just part of his everyday life. but finn roasts make it worth it, i guess. he snorts. it's that little heart on the cup, man.
he doesn't know what he expected. like, dark roast aside, finn's response doesn't necessarily surprise him? it's a relief, but part of him just so strongly wanted to Believe that it would be okay after he jumped the thrawn hurdle that he's just like ah yes, i was right all along. poe uzumaki the next hokage. ]
Yeah? Good. Good. [ just because he ~kind of expected it all along~ doesn't mean he doesn't use his mouth words like a fool out of relief. he looks down at the hand situation they still have going. ]
I was just trying to say … I'm not expecting a lot. We can take it slow, you know. I dunno how to do anything slow, but I could try. And I'm not gonna pretend the whole thing's not kinda weird. Here. Not the best place for romance.
[ no one said sex island couldn't be the friends and lovers we made along the way, but still. ]
[ when i read this notif in gmail i missed the part about poe uzumaki and i almost choked so 10/10 thank you for that. i'm also taking this time to fully acknowledge that the hooded kermit in finn's brain is probably helpfully contributing h a n d h o l d i n g p r i v i l e g e s to this situation when he actively remembers the hand thing is still happening.
or idk maybe more like 'personal space privileges'. he already had hug privileges. hooded kermit is the most useless part of the useless bisexual biology. finn goes back to looking at poe's face, like he's gonna pick up thought waves like radio signals somehow. ]
Yeah. [ here for a reason and all. not in an inspirational sense, but in a contractually obligated to be having sex with people sense. exclusivity isn't one of the zenith keynotes. they put out the non-labeled aphro food to prove it just yesterday. ]
I won't pretend I know what I'm doing if you don't pretend you know what you're doing.
[ fairness and equality tbh. he'd rather be Unsure together than separately pretending they have chill. it's TEAMWORK. ]
[ the day i stop making "poe is naruto" jokes is the day i die tbh. 2005 lives forever.
anyway, he's feeling it. he's feeling the love in the chili's tonight. he takes his hand out of the hand sandwich. like a buzzfeed article, you'll never believe what happens next. ]
I don't know what I'm doing.
[ with those words, the most reassuring words anyone could possibly hear, he just fuckin goes in for the kiss. his newly free hand finds a place at the back of finn's neck. it's a light, testing the terrain kind of kiss. in case finn wants to pull away and isn't down for tongue down the throat action.
this is a true romantic moment. "i don't know what i'm doing." some titanic love story shit happening in the zenith common room. LET 👏 HIS 👏THIRST 👏 BE 👏 QUENCHED 👏 HE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH.]
[ this is a romance arc millennials can get behind. i think it's a good thing that finn finds the "yeah same idk what im doing" aesthetic reassuring. all his best memories are him and other people not knowing what they're doing.
more relevant: there's something to be said for getting kissed not on a battlefield after a big cannon blows a door open. do i blame rose for being about to black out and going for it? not at all. i fully respect that move. the timing wasn't great though.
it also helps that he kinda saw this one coming. like, that's a big factor that means he tries kissing back instead of sitting here being really worried that poe is dying. it actually is the little things that matter. since his hands have gone from being a sandwich to being regular bread, fnnn assumes he has knee-touching permission for one of them.
i cant believe 4 people walk by the most cautious quenchquest in the world and either wolf whistle or complain about losing couch space. wild. ]
[ i think knowing and accepting that you're a messy bitch is a true sign of character growth and adulthood.
his mind tries to be phoebe and think about what it was like with his old school, what his old school liked etc — and then he makes a split-second decision to straight up curb stomp phoebe. just eternal sunshine himself about that shit. curb stomping phoebe is part of his effort to make everything less weird.
if anyone decides to @ him during his quenchquest because it's in public and taking up couch space, he will straight up be juno about it. while finn's hand goes to his knee, his other hand goes to finn's back. now that he's like "i'm in /hacker voice", kissing intensifies. the first few seconds were the calm before the storm, and now it's hurricane season. the people waiting to @ him disappear. it's just him and finn and urgency and need. biting at finn's lip before pulling away and then going back in with a casual invite to paris.
after a little bit of that, he takes the initiative and uses his vantage points of being latched onto finn to push him down into the couch. he's not an exhibitionist, he just put his soul on do not disturb. and they're just making out, so ??? ?
poe: yeah it's cool we can take it slow also poe: YEET MOTHERFUCKERS i meant emotionally IT'S TIME TO QUENCH MY THIRST ]
[ during their whole talk about feelings i was like how would finn, one of two local disaster fronts in the area, try to convey that while yeah he'd definitely like to keep the "i love you"s in a back pocket for a while and just...... get to know poe better and go on sex island versions of dates and stuff sometimes.......
he's still down for some other brands of yeeting. for science. and the greater good of the multiverse. clearly. because he has two working eyes and can see poe with said eyes. and now i can stop that thought process ic and ooc because the best way for him to get it across is to make out with poe on a common area couch after they talk about taking it slow.
this is wild though, holy shit?? poe's knee is old news, finn has two hands and they're going on either side of poe's face. he boards the plane to paris. and you know the basic drill probably, we've covered this in a meme once upon a time. he's not in here with the masterful techniques. but he's got a capri sun of enthusiasm for making out that he never knew he had and never got to use before, and he's bringing it to quenchquest.
CATCH YOU WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS TO USE THEIR LUNGS AGAIN FAM. bc he'll be there to immediately talk shit. ]
I think at some point this turned into you knowing exactly what you're doing.
[ he says like he's not p much at a 10/10 good shit content rating rn?? j'accuse. ]
[ they were on the same page, it's fine. taking it slow is for the l-word (lesbians) and doesn't apply to sex island shenanigans. zenith is making them do it. dr. quin, medicine tentacle monster, is there with a gun to their heads whispering "you better fuckin make out right now at the very least." how do you argue with that???? you don't, you just go for it.
it's true, i could just c-p some old tags and revisit the same sentiments. the important thing is: he's here, he's queer, and he's gonna take that capri sun and not only drink it but pour it out all over his face like a gatorade commercial from the 90s.
when he pulls away, he's out of breath and grinning despite yet another roast. he's basically a starbucks now; the roasts just make him stronger.
he even laughs. ]
I do know this part pretty well. [ will he think he means with other finn don't overthink it DON'T OVERTHINK IT ] In general.
[ you don't have to keep thinking thoughts if you deliberately ban thinking! he goes back in and takes a different approach this time — the kissing finn's jawline and working his way down his neck approach. he could be slow and ~sensual~ about it if he had the self-restraint, but he doesn't. he's still gunning it 100 percent. his teeth graze skin at multiple points. also, his five o'clock shadow probably feels like sandpaper. he's always there if someone needs to exfoliate. ]
[ if you're not 100 emoji-ing getting your mack on, what's the point.
finn, after kinda snorting in a way that may or may not translate to "show-off," is chilling with the Good Shit vibes. this is still 10/10. like yeah sure, he doesn't have the experience to get pretentious or weirdly discerning about it anyway, but even if he did, it doesn't take away from how he came out to have a serious conversation and is honestly having a good time rn.
when you thought having your mouth free would be a great opportunity to catch your breath and it turns out you were super wrong about that: an academic essay.
there's a neatly wrapped bundle of soft feelings just because of the fact that poe is so highkey into making out with him specifically. finn's not examining them too much because he's busy being Busy. getting five o'clock shadow burn. having the occasional sharp little hitch in his breathing.
finn curls a hand around the back of poe's neck. it's on the tentative side for a whole second before poe's teeth come into the equation and he's like "oh yeah all things considered, YEET i have hand placement privileges". gotta chase that capri sun and quench his own personal proximity thirst. ]
[ fuck yes. hell yes. a world of yes. finn is on him like a baby koala and all is right in the world. nothing about him is low-key on a normal day, but especially not now. he's definitely being a show-off, ngl. his fingers dig into his own vantage points on finn's neck and back. he takes a second to congratulate himself on having the foresight to donate a low-collared shirt to finn's previously non-existent wardrobe so he can make his way down into collarbone territory. he's gonna bring some suction into this party.
HOWEVER — when he shoved finn down onto the couch for a better, more horizontal make out angle, he didn't exactly ... fully reorient himself to be on the couch. he went from sitting to getting one leg vaguely on the couch. the more he gets into having A Good Time, the less attention he pays to trying to use the rest of his body for staying up on this couch. five seconds later, they're no longer taking up valuable couch space but valuable floor space. sideways, like gravity wanted a nala-simba rollover situation but got tired in the middle.
his face ends up smashed against finn's neck at an awkward angle. it takes him a second to fully register what just happened to him. it all happened so fast, okay. but when it clicks, he just laughs. laughing hysterically while still smashed against finn's neck. what else can you do, okay. it was funny! they made out so hard they fell off the couch. that's some high school bullshit that never happened to him because growing up on yavin 4 was probably like growing up in the middle of the woods. ]
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Don't worry about it.
[ he smiles like aw yeah this is normal. a normal conversation. they're doing so well.
time to ruin it!!! ]
I wanted to talk to you about some stuff that happened with Hathaway. Where me and Rey were before. [ and you. and kylo ren. the whole family. ] With you. I should have said something last night, but ... I dunno. It was a lot. It's a lot. But if I don't tell you now, it's just gonna be worse if it comes up later. You know what I mean?
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Yeah, actually. [ see uhhhh. "i'm not resistance i'm a stormtrooper" and "oh my god you're really just stealing an escape pod and running away". it turns out honesty is the best policy most of the time. wild.
finn pulls up a seat. the hathaway stuff is still the weirdest part of this entire experience, and that's saying something. maybe he'll come out of this understanding more about it?? maybe it will provide material for staving off the existential crisis. ]
Take your time.
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So. Um. Most of the time we were there, we were in a relationship. You and me. [ exhale. ] I don't want you to feel like -- we rushed into it. [ poe and finn??? rushing into things????? sounds fake. ] And it kind of ... we had a fight. Sort of. Me and Rey had a fight and you were there. But after that, you left. And I don't know if it was because they just made you transfer and it was bad timing or if it was because of me. [ what if he throws up right now. ]
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finn takes the appropriate amount of time to absorb this info. it's not exactly sponge-to-water easy to absorb. sort of like cheap paper towels level. he gets there.
we're not gonna pretend he hasn't at some point even considered the poe thing as a Possibility. he's free, emotionally thirsty, and he only knows three people. he hasn't planned out all of his weddings to them but i mean, it was a nice thing to get to think about for once. so nothing about this sounds like. impossible. probably especially not the rushing in part.
just unexpected.
poe might be trying to get some closure or something. finn guesses he'd do the same thing, if the situations were reversed. maybe. it's weird to think about. it's all weird to think about, because this other finn is him but he's not... him. he's like a whole other person. other stuff happened to him.
he could think about how this directly means at some point poe had a clear and present interest instead??? sounds fake?? not sure how a person navigates that. finn's not dealing with any of these trains of thought. he's walking home.
things make more sense and less sense now, not just about how poe was acting but how rey was acting, too. ]
I mean, it would have to be one hell of a fight, Poe.
[ his tone says something along the lines of "you would literally have to murder rey or vice-versa".
he just can't wrap his mind around the idea of leaving behind not only a... relationship he guesses, but rey and poe both, simultaneously. least of all in some other galaxy cut off from home? one that sounds like it was sometimes really dangerous.
the whole concept disagrees with him. maybe it's the lack of time talking. his full yeet instinct. he doesn't know. he only knows the version of himself that he actually is.
trying to peace out on the resistance was one thing. he character developed away from that. ]
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he even gave him a nice lead to his Thrawn Story. the one he didn't get to tell that's just been sitting in his diary for that same amount of weeks. ]
It was. Not because ... it was just loud. Rey was on something, like the dinner last night. Except it made her angry.
[ he lets that information sit there for a second before fumbling right along into ]
You know the different timelines thing? How we're both here but you're ... my future, I guess? There was an Imperial solider in Hathaway with us. I worked really closely with him. We didn't really have any other choice. We never talked about home, just life stuff. And I don't think he was that bad. I don't think he was all good, but I think he could have been better if things had been different.
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regardless of everything, deets vol. 2 is still better than having poe look at him like, "so hux was there and you know what he's actually very sympathetic i think he could have been an okay dude in another life" or "hung out with phasma, not as awful as i thought it would be" or something. it's easier to separate imperial officer out from the first order. the first order is like that. yeah we use the empire's aesthetic and motives and strategies and weapons and goals but we're Totally Not Them We're Better Guys. ]
And she was mad. [ okay. okay, he thinks he's following this better than part 1. ] Did something happen, or...?
[ ? should he assess this part as a whole thing or should he reserve judgement for the third part of a trilogy. was rey mad about it already or was the 'on something' a huge factor. because all that could probably make a big difference.
oh wait note to self whoever drugged rey should be hung by their thumbs. he hopes whoever did it got hung by the thumbs.
poe: so here are the deets
finn, immediately: i lied i don't get it hold on ]
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[ it's at this point that 20/20 hindsight hits him like a blaster straight through his head. thrawn said that rey and kylo ren would use the information against him. not rey.
rey
and
kylo ren.
he found out. he found out what poe found out several weeks later and then was in denial about for several weeks more. he didn't see it at first, but now he does. thrawn figured out their dl relationship. or … whatever it was. that's why rey was so intense about taking him down. about having information to use against him. not because he wanted to change the timeline. it was because thrawn had dirt on her (and kylo bag of dicks ren.)
damn.
that doesn't change the telling of the story, but it does color his perception of it in retrospect. ]
So I told her something. I told her something he told me in confidence. But then I felt bad about it. It didn't feel right. So I told him I told her. [ he exhales a little sigh thinking of that series of events. that sure was a good way to make everyone hate him. memories. ]
He told me never to talk to him again, so it's not — it wasn't like that. Rey figured out I went back to him, and she was furious. Even more furious than normal, 'cause of the thing. This was when everything happened. She got mad at me for trying to protect him. She was yelling at me about taking his side, being manipulated by him, all this stuff. Force threw me, there was a lightsaber ... You were there for that. Other you.
[ his mouth slants sideways thinking about it. he still doesn't think he was wrong about thrawn and he'll meet anyone in the pit who tries to fight him on it. even rey. back on down into the pit. ]
But it wasn't like that. I wasn't taking anybody's side. I wanted to do what was right to me. Sure wasn't making friends either way doing it. But sometimes you have to make choices like that, where's it's not anybody's side, you know? It's just you.
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finn doesn't try to interrupt. there are probably a few moments where he looks like he might but he commits to getting the full package. in a non porny way. he takes his time.
so poe "one trust" dameron works with this soldier. thinks okay he's not like GOOD, he's imperial, but he's not awful. gets to know him. rey "pragmatist jedi in training" lastname is thinking galactic security and leverage. poe breaks the trust cheeto code trying to help her out, but that's moral tarpit stuff and he's not into it. tells the guy he broke the cheeto. doesn't get a new one. rey finds out he told the guy, and she's roiding out and hulk smashes him.
the other finn is there?? presumably trying to prevent murders? that's kind of where he would be leaning.
and then you know, he guesses he disappears to another team because of a transfer or something. super close on the tail of that. without a word. finn can't figure why he'd do that on purpose still, so he's leaning toward unplanned and not his choice probably. that's his guess. he sees why it was a whole Thing now.
it's a big thing of communicating and not communicating and things breaking bad. no wonder they've been so weird redux. it seems like poe and rey maybe have it worked out? between themselves? unsure.
this is the complex morality tlj tried to accomplish. but uhhhhh hoo boy alright one thing at a time. at least one of these things he can relate to and address. finn leans forward enough to put his elbows on his knees. like a very dignified man, he clasps his hands and sorta looks down at his bootless feet for all of two seconds.
vulnerability is something not to be taken lightly. it means a lot to poe to explain all this, and his reasoning. finn respects that. ]
You know, I didn't exactly leave the First Order because I wanted to be a rebel. [ honesty for honesty. he sort of tried to explain that to poe pre-re-jacketing. he remembers. hell, maybe other finn got into it while they were hanging in hathaway. no way of knowing. ] No war. No side. I just didn't wanna kill people for them. That's all I had in mind.
[ tfa and tlj were the real mvps on that one thanks guys. he loves his new anime resolve. anyway he kinda gets it. is what he means. im doing this on mobile like an animal while my laptop updates im out of good words. ]
And I don't know if you noticed, but I was a stormtrooper when we met, so. Pretty sure this isn't gonna run me out of town.
[ if poe hadn't had one trust for him then, they'd be dead. he can't get mad that poe is a nice dude. he can't get mad that rey was thinking leverage over murder. all sounds kosher???? he's seen the end of the movie they all spent fucking up, he's gotta think about Tomorrow. ]
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and then finn left. he and rey made up because they were sad and lonely and ~all they had was each other~ after finn left and … kylo ren broke up with her that day. a different day. that issue was resolved.
but then there was finn. he didn't believe he was wrong, wouldn't, but he still didn't want to lose finn in the process. there was just a lot of conflict there inside him. a big knotted fucked up ball of conflict. that he carried around for multiple weeks. and was determined to keep carrying, because if he didn't have to talk about it, he didn't have to receive confirmation that he was right and that he had yeeted straight into a dealbreaker.
he breathes. just takes a second breathing there. breathing because he said it, he got to say it without rey screaming bloody murder at him, and everything is still somehow fine.
he almost even sort of smiles, because finn is right. he'd had that thought himself. he trusted finn when he didn't really have a reason to, and he'd been right about finn. he could see the goodness in people, and he didn't tend to be wrong.
and now, when finn is explaining that he didn't leave the first order to be a rebel, he understands. maybe he kind of always knew it. he immediately called finn out on him not helping him because it was The Right Thing to Do. maybe he just wanted to believe that of finn anyway. and he wanted finn to feel like he belonged with the resistance, that he was part of something. believing he was on board with The Ideals made that easier.
if he didn't get it before, he gets it now. people aren't usually drawn in by the Ideals of one side versus the other. it's the little things. leia meant more to him than the resistance did. holdo told him to clean a bedpan if he wanted to serve a princess and he mutinied in the name of Preserving Her Vision, so. he knew that much about himself. that was his base need.
finn wanted to run. that was his. and that was what it was. no judgment. ]
I know. Or — it makes sense, anyway. I get it.
[ he looks up and manages a small smile. it went from sort of to actual. ]
I never told anyone. It doesn't really matter anymore, I guess. He's not here. But he told me his incentive, the whole reason he was with Hathaway, wasn't about the Empire at all. I think it was about a person. So I still don't think I'm wrong. I don't think stuff like that's that simple anymore, you know? The things we all do. It's not really black and white. It's all small stuff.
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and yeah, finn's shoulders definitely relax a little at the i get it. poe was sort of the only one of his friends who never got around to or had time to absorb how finn's old playlist had Run Away With Me played on loop about 500 times.
finn cares what people think about him when they're his friends. he cares what poe thinks about him. so it's good not to have him not get mad or visibly disappointed but trying to hide it or something? finn went in there for the empathizing but he was kinda ready to be sad about the worst possible outcome.
bc you know, disaster culture is sitting there a minute ago like "it would take basically literally murdering my best friend for me to ditch you probably" and still being like "so anyway i understand if you decide i'm a liar and a coward and have to ditch me for this". and we know it's disaster culture because that's what both of these men are doing today. ]
I think I get what you mean. [ just look at dj. he did some okay things even though he's ultimately a very shitty person. or lando, who did an unfortunate thing but ultimately is a very good person. finn probably doesn't know much about lando as a person i just like lando a lot. the fact is life is complicated and it turns out nothing is easy.
finn is kind of ready for this war to end not just because it must be wild not having a war going on, but also because maybe then life can be a little more about simple stuff. ] Nice way to put it even if I don't.
[ there, even if it turns out he's a fuckin idiot at least poe knows it sounded nice i guess. ]
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anyway — he thinks of trying to clarify. if it even matters that much if he does. ]
It's just — we all care about these little things, right? That's what's important. Like when you woke up after Starkiller Base. You didn't — you asked about Rey, right? That was what was important to you. [ if he doesn't point out he just did the exact same thing with leia, no one can roast his soft spots. ] I don't know, that's just what I think.
[ he's not a philosopher, but he tried his best. this is like the third draft of this thought that started out as "everything's always about something else," so. some kind of progress was made.
in other progress-related news: he reaches to put his hand over finn's. for someone who usually full-tilt yeets into any action, there's something slow and deliberate about it. maybe a little hesitant. he's still wrapping his head around finn not ~running away because of him~, due to firmly Deciding that was what had happened.
but now that that's over — his soul is cleansed, his crops are watered — where does that leave him with finn? this finn? is it weird? bad? only one way to find out, starting with the anti-yeet. which is soft thoughtful action, i guess. ]
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man finn will have to roast poe for the leia thing one day because poe doesn't remember "you're alive!!!! where's my droid" yet. or like, he never will. timelines?? finn isn't sure, he's just trying to take this one thing at a time. it's only been a day so far, so it's working out. ]
Well, I don't think you're wrong. For what it's worth.
[ it makes sense. the little things being big things, sort of. being finn was worth running for. rey was worth fighting for. causes and armies are small potatoes on the scale against Three Friends And A Soccer Ball.
shoutout to poe for rocketing this thread to r-18 by indulging finn's hand holding kink softly and thoughtfully. wow. but in all seriousness, it's a cold day in hell when finn finds a gesture like this intolerable. he likes!!!! to touch hands!!! so he'll drop his other hand on top of poe's and make it into a temporary hand sandwich. he's probably doing this with platonic supportiveness in mind, realistically, but he's dumb and also trying not to make things... weirder. he doesn't want poe to feel like he has to keep pretending to be driftwood to avoid him? there weren't pamphlets for this part of multiverse shenanigans.
the countdown to finn realizing that poe has in all likelihood not only made out with him but seen him naked in a personal context, or A Him who he assumes looks exactly the same, is on. finn deadass hasn't even gotten there on his "one thing at a time" docket yet. still not totally sure what his plan of action is once he does tho. like. ???? who knows. ]
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ah yes. the hands. he knew this would probably happen lbr but was still bracing for an Alternate Timeline where finn idk ripped off his hand instead. luckily, that timeline didn't happen. his hopes and dreams were right all along, like always.
also: to be fair, as poe will probably have to share someday, MAYBE even today ... not a lot happened in his relationship with other finn. in that department. he tried to initiate things, finn freaked out, there were handjobs like once, and then a lot of sexual frustration after. you may think poe is dramatically chasing after something long gone, but he's really just gently trying to break open a cactus after being tortured by thirst. that said at the very least he has done both of those things. those were the last drops of water in his canteen before the great thirst. ]
I still like you. [ time to skip over philosophy and go headfirst into the emotional yeet. but also: not diving straight for the l-word anymore. he has a whole new chance not to fuck this up and he's going to exercise!!! caution!!! for once. ] Just so you know. I don't know how anybody's gonna actually have a relationship here, with the way things are. And maybe it'll be weird to you, because I knew a different you. I get that. But I'm here. For, uh, anything. Whatever you want. However you want it.
[ when you're trying to break open the cactus but also worried that the cactus might hate you because it thinks you were looking for another catcus. what is this metaphor? i don't know anymore. ]
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finn sure as hell thinks about this. it's sort of the best option, because in meme terms, one kermit is going "YEET" and the other kermit is going "YOU'LL FUCK IT UP" and it's unclear which one is which at this juncture.
like i said. it's not like he never thought about this concept. you know, ran the hypotheticals. considered poe's face. the fact that he didn't know what real, good hope felt like until he heard the words "i can fly anything". (be a disaster and a little bit in love with everyone you almost die with. why waste daylight going one at a time.) ]
It's pretty weird. [ he's not gonna lie about it. but the thing is, he's not sure there's really a way for either of them to win on that in this situation. he's finn. the other finn is also finn. they're the same person. it's just that he's been in their galaxy up until now and in some other universe he got roped into this hathaway place at some point. apparently.
poe's not thirsting after some au finn he met who was never a stormtrooper and willing to latch onto whatever other finn he can pull. it's maybe not fair to suggest this is some swap-out thing. he thinks that might be putting his hangups with being expendable into someone else's mouth. even if it is weird. it's weird for other reasons too. equality. it's not the type of person poe is, the same as it's not the type of person rey is.
there are like five things finn wants to say, and picking a place to start is hard. ]
You said you rushed into it. Before.
[ not accusing. more of an okay lemme start wrapping both of the kermits around this. ]
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[ oh no. he should have anticipated this, but he did not. the part where he actually has to talk about ... how relationship attempt one went.
rey is in his head like "he said he liked you the first time why would that be different????" but he's in his own head like "consider: i'm a human disaster." still waiting for that yeet out.
also rey in his head: "YOU SHOULD TELL HIM EVERYTHING HE DESERVES TO KNOW!!"
also poe in his own head: "yeah okay but what if i left some details out bc of how fuckin stupid i am. what if we did that huh." ]
I felt that way before we showed up, you know? Before anything happened. So don't think ... it wasn't anything special that happened in Hathaway.
[ he groans internally. two paths diverged in a yellow wood: one is lying about how stupid you are and the other is admitting how stupid you are even though you JUST DECIDED not to admit how stupid you are. those are the paths. a poem by bobby frost. ]
So. Uh. After ... I don't know, a week, maybe two weeks, I told you I loved you. [ does finn need social context for that? probably. ] People don't usually do that. You're supposed to wait. I still -- I don't not. But I should have waited.
[ how does he put this into words. he is not a smart man. he's not bobby frost. ]
It was nice. It was good. We were on missions most of the time, so we never really -- we didn't spend that much time together. There wasn't any hard stuff. But I think I should have waited because ... well, after the whole thing. After you left. I freaked out because I thought you left because you got to know me and didn't like what was there. And if we -- if I waited, maybe that wouldn't have happened.
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also he can super see how the math is adding up on that post-fight freakout and the whole deal now?? if he yeeted straight into love confessions after a week and then the bae vanished after a big, confusing fight... he would also just assume it means he wasn't good enough and they didn't like what they saw. that's valid. he's literally afraid of that shoe dropping in all of his relationships right now. ]
At least we covered that already. [ poe is a shining star. and finn brand loyalty doesn't break on most impacts. ] I'm, uh. I'm not gonna say I'm surprised to hear that you come on strong. I got raised to march down ramps firing a blaster, and even I don't think you're subtle.
[ hello yes i do believe i have a fresh roast ordered for a poe dameron??? the barista drew a lil heart on the cup.
finn bites the inside of his cheek. ]
I'd be interested. I mean, I am. Interested. That's probably a good place to start. Sorry, I wasn't trying to-- I don't know, leave you hanging. About that.
[ if he knows for sure that poe is into this and he knows for sure that he's interested, he sees no reason not to give it a small-scale yeet? otherwise it's them both being interested and chilling in a hot tub, holding hands, possibly banging, trying to act like there's not a thing there.
so he knows this is a platform he can work from regardless of where this rolling stone stops gathering moss. if they take a whole journey to "maybe let's not" somehow, at least they'll both have it out on the table.
welcome to star wars, the only ones good at talking about their emotions are dead people and chewie. ]
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he doesn't know what he expected. like, dark roast aside, finn's response doesn't necessarily surprise him? it's a relief, but part of him just so strongly wanted to Believe that it would be okay after he jumped the thrawn hurdle that he's just like ah yes, i was right all along. poe uzumaki the next hokage. ]
Yeah? Good. Good. [ just because he ~kind of expected it all along~ doesn't mean he doesn't use his mouth words like a fool out of relief. he looks down at the hand situation they still have going. ]
I was just trying to say … I'm not expecting a lot. We can take it slow, you know. I dunno how to do anything slow, but I could try. And I'm not gonna pretend the whole thing's not kinda weird. Here. Not the best place for romance.
[ no one said sex island couldn't be the friends and lovers we made along the way, but still. ]
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or idk maybe more like 'personal space privileges'. he already had hug privileges. hooded kermit is the most useless part of the useless bisexual biology. finn goes back to looking at poe's face, like he's gonna pick up thought waves like radio signals somehow. ]
Yeah. [ here for a reason and all. not in an inspirational sense, but in a contractually obligated to be having sex with people sense. exclusivity isn't one of the zenith keynotes. they put out the non-labeled aphro food to prove it just yesterday. ]
I won't pretend I know what I'm doing if you don't pretend you know what you're doing.
[ fairness and equality tbh. he'd rather be Unsure together than separately pretending they have chill. it's TEAMWORK. ]
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anyway, he's feeling it. he's feeling the love in the chili's tonight. he takes his hand out of the hand sandwich. like a buzzfeed article, you'll never believe what happens next. ]
I don't know what I'm doing.
[ with those words, the most reassuring words anyone could possibly hear, he just fuckin goes in for the kiss. his newly free hand finds a place at the back of finn's neck. it's a light, testing the terrain kind of kiss. in case finn wants to pull away and isn't down for tongue down the throat action.
this is a true romantic moment. "i don't know what i'm doing." some titanic love story shit happening in the zenith common room. LET 👏 HIS 👏THIRST 👏 BE 👏 QUENCHED 👏 HE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH.]
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more relevant: there's something to be said for getting kissed not on a battlefield after a big cannon blows a door open. do i blame rose for being about to black out and going for it? not at all. i fully respect that move. the timing wasn't great though.
it also helps that he kinda saw this one coming. like, that's a big factor that means he tries kissing back instead of sitting here being really worried that poe is dying. it actually is the little things that matter. since his hands have gone from being a sandwich to being regular bread, fnnn assumes he has knee-touching permission for one of them.
i cant believe 4 people walk by the most cautious quenchquest in the world and either wolf whistle or complain about losing couch space. wild. ]
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his mind tries to be phoebe and think about what it was like with his old school, what his old school liked etc — and then he makes a split-second decision to straight up curb stomp phoebe. just eternal sunshine himself about that shit. curb stomping phoebe is part of his effort to make everything less weird.
if anyone decides to @ him during his quenchquest because it's in public and taking up couch space, he will straight up be juno about it. while finn's hand goes to his knee, his other hand goes to finn's back. now that he's like "i'm in /hacker voice", kissing intensifies. the first few seconds were the calm before the storm, and now it's hurricane season. the people waiting to @ him disappear. it's just him and finn and urgency and need. biting at finn's lip before pulling away and then going back in with a casual invite to paris.
after a little bit of that, he takes the initiative and uses his vantage points of being latched onto finn to push him down into the couch. he's not an exhibitionist, he just put his soul on do not disturb. and they're just making out, so ??? ?
poe: yeah it's cool we can take it slow
also poe: YEET MOTHERFUCKERS i meant emotionally IT'S TIME TO QUENCH MY THIRST ]
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he's still down for some other brands of yeeting. for science. and the greater good of the multiverse. clearly. because he has two working eyes and can see poe with said eyes. and now i can stop that thought process ic and ooc because the best way for him to get it across is to make out with poe on a common area couch after they talk about taking it slow.
this is wild though, holy shit?? poe's knee is old news, finn has two hands and they're going on either side of poe's face. he boards the plane to paris. and you know the basic drill probably, we've covered this in a meme once upon a time. he's not in here with the masterful techniques. but he's got a capri sun of enthusiasm for making out that he never knew he had and never got to use before, and he's bringing it to quenchquest.
CATCH YOU WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS TO USE THEIR LUNGS AGAIN FAM. bc he'll be there to immediately talk shit. ]
I think at some point this turned into you knowing exactly what you're doing.
[ he says like he's not p much at a 10/10 good shit content rating rn?? j'accuse. ]
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it's true, i could just c-p some old tags and revisit the same sentiments. the important thing is: he's here, he's queer, and he's gonna take that capri sun and not only drink it but pour it out all over his face like a gatorade commercial from the 90s.
when he pulls away, he's out of breath and grinning despite yet another roast. he's basically a starbucks now; the roasts just make him stronger.
he even laughs. ]
I do know this part pretty well. [ will he think he means with other finn don't overthink it DON'T OVERTHINK IT ] In general.
[ you don't have to keep thinking thoughts if you deliberately ban thinking! he goes back in and takes a different approach this time — the kissing finn's jawline and working his way down his neck approach. he could be slow and ~sensual~ about it if he had the self-restraint, but he doesn't. he's still gunning it 100 percent. his teeth graze skin at multiple points. also, his five o'clock shadow probably feels like sandpaper. he's always there if someone needs to exfoliate. ]
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finn, after kinda snorting in a way that may or may not translate to "show-off," is chilling with the Good Shit vibes. this is still 10/10. like yeah sure, he doesn't have the experience to get pretentious or weirdly discerning about it anyway, but even if he did, it doesn't take away from how he came out to have a serious conversation and is honestly having a good time rn.
when you thought having your mouth free would be a great opportunity to catch your breath and it turns out you were super wrong about that: an academic essay.
there's a neatly wrapped bundle of soft feelings just because of the fact that poe is so highkey into making out with him specifically. finn's not examining them too much because he's busy being Busy. getting five o'clock shadow burn. having the occasional sharp little hitch in his breathing.
finn curls a hand around the back of poe's neck. it's on the tentative side for a whole second before poe's teeth come into the equation and he's like "oh yeah all things considered, YEET i have hand placement privileges". gotta chase that capri sun and quench his own personal proximity thirst. ]
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HOWEVER — when he shoved finn down onto the couch for a better, more horizontal make out angle, he didn't exactly ... fully reorient himself to be on the couch. he went from sitting to getting one leg vaguely on the couch. the more he gets into having A Good Time, the less attention he pays to trying to use the rest of his body for staying up on this couch. five seconds later, they're no longer taking up valuable couch space but valuable floor space. sideways, like gravity wanted a nala-simba rollover situation but got tired in the middle.
his face ends up smashed against finn's neck at an awkward angle. it takes him a second to fully register what just happened to him. it all happened so fast, okay. but when it clicks, he just laughs. laughing hysterically while still smashed against finn's neck. what else can you do, okay. it was funny! they made out so hard they fell off the couch. that's some high school bullshit that never happened to him because growing up on yavin 4 was probably like growing up in the middle of the woods. ]
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